


Unseeing Iron Man

by Starkster



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety Attacks, Blind Character, Depression, F/M, Guide Dog Jarvis, Hurt/Comfort, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) Lives, Lost Of Eye Sight, More Tags will come as the story goes on, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark Friendship, Protective Pepper Potts, Science Bros, Slow Build, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, blind tony stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-09 19:09:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11110995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starkster/pseuds/Starkster
Summary: Not everything becomes pitch black after becoming blind a.k.a the story of how Tony learns seeing things differently than they are.





	1. Out Of Sight

_No, no, please god no!_

Until a second ago Tony could see a different array of colors. The blue sky filled with fluffy white clouds and the sun making it's arrival to announce a new day has arrived. The overgrown wild green up and around the forest to protect it's inhabitants against the danger outside. Not that some of them would be stopped and dare to look what's outside which is were he comes in to save them from being driven over. Back in the civilization he would see thousands of tiny people shopping, rushing to appointments or whatever they do these days underneath him as a flies by.

Some of them wearing suits in a monotone color while others would jump out with bright ones. He would always notice them those colorful little spots and the yellow cab's standing still in a never ending line with regular cars to bring their clients to the wanted destination. The poor suckers would be always too late thanks to the every day traffic.

And this? This wasn’t supposed to happen. A regular mission with a bad ending. He just needs a minute to catch his breath but his chest feels heavy inside of his suit. _Pepper._ He gotta go to Pepper. She’s too close for his liking. Placing his hands on the wet concrete he opends his eyes but everything is black. A dark alley he thinks. He gives Friday the command to lighten up the place but nothing happends. He doesnt like this for one bit. 

“Friday?” Tony calls loud enough for her to hear him. 

“The light are on, sir. May I suggest you see a doctor right away? My systems can’t pick up any signals from your eyes.”

“Are you sure?” He blinks with his eyes, a slight burning feeling becoming more painful with each movement. 

“What do you see in the hub?” 

His eye brows pinch together, using his hand and rubs his eyes to clear his vision but stil sees only the damn darkness. Could it be Friday doesn't see her hub is broken? Or is it him? His eyes failing him on the moment he needs them the most. _Pepper keeps crossing throughout his mind._ He has to bring her to safety. 

_The sun shines brightly through the thin fabric of the white curtains but letting enough light coming through to create a glow on Peppers red hair every morning when he woke up next to her. One of his favorite memories. Her sparkling blue eyes spoke the most to him. Kind. Loving. Caring. God, he loved her. Still does._

“I...There’s nothing.” He stutters, his hands coming up to his face again. Waving them before his eyes but not seeing them. 

“I’m going to call assistance.” 

“No, please don’t. I can do this on my own. Just...just point me to the right direction.” 

Tony tries to breath air in his lungs but it’s no use. He can take only short amounts to keep his lungs functioning. It's not enough. He’s suffocating. His hands touches his face to open the mechanic’s from outside that’s clearly broken from his fall. But how can the he feel the warmth of the sun shines on his face? He doesn’t remember opening the upper part of his helmet. His fingers shakily trail further to feel the skin of his face exposed. 

A part must have fell off on the way down. He feels the pain around his eyes, skin damaged as the wetness soaks his fingers that nothing has to do with water. It's too much for that. He’s bleeding. His fingers touch his eyelids and the skin around them. The damage doesn’t have to be permanent. 

Tony takes another deep breath. He sure doesn’t gives up. _Not an option._ He has been given other senses he can use. With touch, smell and hearing along he can make it out of here. _Easy_. His lips curl into a grimace. He places his hands on the wet concrete and pushes himself up but his legs give out on him. His back hits the ground with full force, weighted by the suit and taking some of the impact. 

The pain makes him feel numb but footsteps rush over to where he’s laying down. His fingers stumble by accident on a pair of hands, not knowing if they are friendly but the gentleness in them tells him yes, this person is friendly. _Thank god._ He hopes the person is one of his fellow Avengers but considering his luck. He doesn’t think they are. The anxiety rises up in his throat which makes it more harder to breath. 

His pinky feels a hard object against this person’s wrist he guesses from the position. He tries to open his mouth but nothing comes out. Another hand cradles his neck to support him, turning his head slowly to left and right. Probably to inspect the damage inflicted on his face. His free hand reach out to this person's arm but missing it completely and grasps the air. He wants to throw up. 

“Tony?”

A familiar voice finds it’s way into his mind. A female voice belonging  _Natasha._ He recognizes her now.It’s the gauntlets he felt on her wrist which he quickly moves away from as she holds his head from the ground. He turns his face in the palm of her hand to hear Steve’s and Bruce’s alarmed voice to his left. It doesn’t make him feel save.  _Not at all._   _Geez._ He closes his eyes which, ouch hurts and opens them quickly. _But the question remains why can’t he see?_ The last thing he remembers was someone throwing a strange purple greenish liquid at him, hitting him square on his face. 

The numb pain turns into a stingy one, realizing he might have become blind by some stupid greasy person. He feels his heart beating loudly in his ribcage, wanting to run out of his chest.  _No, this can’t be happening. He can’t be blind._  This means the end of Iron Man.  _This can’t be true, please._  His breathing quickens and he manages to shout a agonizing sound, dying in the background of New-York. 

Tony feels another pair of hands, familiar ones which touch gentle the damaged skin around his eyes. He doesn't know were his pain begins or were it ends. _It’s too damn much._ He reaches out to Bruce, again he misses by far but Natasha catches his hand to guide him before Bruce touches his fingers gentle.  

“Is there anything we can do for him?”

“Here? No, we won’t.”

His breath get’s caught stuck in his throat. The spark of hope in his chest slowly fading away. It’s getting cold. _He’s still in his suit._ His body shivers and his teeth begin to clatter. More apparently than he thought he would be because he feels Natasha trying to helping up. By placing him in a sitting position and rounding his arm on her shoulder before standing up. He stands but leans heavily against Natasha’s side. He tries to find his footing but fails the first step. Bruce catches him on time before another cuddle session with the ground. 

_He takes another breath and everything fades away._


	2. Bonds That Will Never Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony get's time to re-connect with someone who he hasn't seen, rather smelled in a long time.

Well, that’s an embarrassing story to tell. _Not that he will let anyone know about it._  He sees the headlines in his mind and those do not amuse him at all. Thankfully his teammates are very discreet in keep information hidden for the public eye. 

Natasha was the one who told him he fainted in her arms as a damsel in distress shortly after standing up from the ruble and for a second time with Bruce until Steve had enough and carried him. Tony doesn’t have any memories to go by but he takes Natasha’s word for it. She wouldn’t lie about something serious like this. Not even to make him feel better. His hand rubs gentle over his eyes. 

The first thing Tony noticed since he got admitted in the hospital _except from the pain_ that it’s hard to keep his attention at Cap who reads him the newspaper, keeping his voice calm and smoothing. He knows the headlines but Steve's voice sounds like lullaby, making his eye lids often drop but the nagging pain on the back of his head keeps him up. 

With a groan Tony moves his head to the left side on the soft cushion so he faces  _Captain Bed Time Stories_  and makes his movements too oblivious for him to follow. Rolling his eyes in his head which surprisingly hurt and clenching them shut doesn’t do miracles either.  _A painful way to find out._  He won’t do that again instead he keeps them open as that option feels much better than the other two. There not much to work with anyway. 

The newspaper ruffles gentle when Steve turns the page, reading the next one. And yeah, it’s official.  _He’s blind._ Bruce brought him the news with Natasha in tow to hold his hand _._ Her hand felt soft and manicured and kept him distracted enough to go through thousands of eye flushes which in reality had been only two times.  _An unpleasant experience._ Only to find out he will never be able to regain his sight ever again. He doesn’t want to go into specifics but he’s unable to see the difference between day or night or anything for that matter. 

Currently his hand holds his new light weighted walking stick upgraded with the latest Stark-tech. _A gift from the amazing Pepper._ His fingers touch around the stick to get familiar with it for the rest of his life. Thank-goodness Natasha could stop Clint from getting a dog for him. He likes Lucky but he wants to try independently before going head first to get his own guidance dog. As a child he would have jumped on the opportunity. 

Besides he could come up with an idea to see with his eyes which would make the dog unwanted and to be put back in a pound. He doesn’t have the heart to do such thing. Friday’s guidance is good enough for him. She can do the same but without a physical body. 

His hand reaches out the left for the cup of water the doctors kindly left him. Before he can wrap his fingers around Steve beats him by pushing gentle,  _not handing him,_  the thin plastic cup in the palm of his hand. He feels the rough fabric of Steve’s blue glove against the tip of some of his fingers which he gives a short tap, before taking a sip of the cold water and salutes with the hand he holds the cane with.  

“How are you holding up?” Steve asks him genuinely with his own voice and not the Captain America voice which he appreciate as well on this moment. He doesn’t want anyone to treat him differently because he’s visually impaired. God, he hates the word blind. it’s sounds so dull. 

“I’m...Okay, I guess?”  Tony sighs, trying to find his way back to Steve with his hand as the frustration rises up within him. He didn’t move and not either himself so why is it so difficult? A gentle touch on his thumb makes him turn towards it and lands on Steve’s broad shoulder as a grimace shapes on corners of his own lips. “It will take some time to get used too but it won’t stop me. I will resume my daily activities once I get out of here. Do you have any idea when Bruce returns?” 

His hand drops from Steve’s solid shoulder onto the bed, feeling his weight shift away from the surface completely and a slight panic feeling rises up.  _Huh, he hasn’t felt that before with him._  Confused Tony listens to Steve’s movement to determine if he left the room but it’s quiet. Too quiet for his liking. Instead he picks up a sound of a wheelchair further in the hall way he guesses, muted by the rubber around the wheels that makes it hard for him to hear Steve’s movements.  

Suddenly Tony feels rather aware of his state, clenching the stick in his hand.  _He can’t do this._  Who’s he fooling? He can’t fly blind in his suit. Theoretically speaking he can. Only it wouldn't be his flying but Friday's who flies for him. _He would be just an useless body sitting in a suit._ Doing nothing. No wonder Steve walked away. 

His breath quickens as the grip on his stick tightens, allowing the panic spread further through his body until he feels a hand touching his own. He doesn’t know whose hand but it sure doesn’t feel like Cap’s. The strange hand tries to loosen his but nope, that’s not going to happen. His cane is the only thing that can get him out of here safely. He doubts it’s one of the nurses either. A snort leaves his lips. Being visually impaired doesn’t mean he’s helpless. 

He lashes out with a fist but the other person catches him that he uses as a distraction to hook his leg around the others leg  _after some embarrassing quick search_  and takes weight away from underneath them. His ears pick up the sound of a loud thud, indicating the person fell on the floor. He plants his stick on the floor but before he can move a familiar voice cuts through his thoughts. 

“It’s me, Tony!”

“Rhodey?” He asks confused, sitting slowly back down in shock. He was being so wrapped up in his own mind he completely missed his best friend entering the room. Steve walked away to give them privacy. _God, he’s so stupid._ He could have end up hurting Rhodey badly. 

Gentle he searches the floor with his stick, ticking twice before walking further with each step. When finally Tony reaches Rhodey he knees down, his hands searching with the remains of blind panic until he feels something shape like thigh. 

“I-I...Next time say hi before you enter.” Tony utters, ghosting his hand over his leg to feel any bumps and anything else which could be bad. He should have...Would have known Rhodey would come by the moment the news about his eyes would spread. Pepper wouldn’t keep it away from him. 

“I’m fine. And yeah, thanks for the late warning.” Rhodey chuckles, before stopping his disquieting hands. “Hey, stop that. I’m okay. I should have knocked or something. This is on me.” 

Tony releases a breath he didn’t know that was stuck in his throat. “Still, it doesn’t make it okay what I did.” He sighs, moving his eyes towards Rhodey’s voice as if he could see with them.  _It’s an unnerving feeling._

“I’m glad you did. What if someone with bad intentions would come in? I rather get a beating and a cuddle afterwards than loosing you to some maniac.” 

With the adrenaline leaving from his body Tony feels tired, his strength drained. Today just doesn’t seem to end. His hands let go of his best friend, taking the cane in his hand to use to stand up. Holding out his free one Rhodey takes it but doesn’t use his to push himself up but to pull him close against him in an embrace. His own arms move around him to return the gesture. 

“You okay? It looks very painful.” Rhodey consoled, rubbing his hand in circles on his back. “I’m going to get the son of a bitch who did this.” 

“Steve and Natasha beat you into that.” He laughs, pulling himself back from his friend to create space between them. Rhodey thankfully get’s the hint while he finds his way back to sit on the bed. 

“To answer you question. Barely. Not being able to see that’s where hard part start.” He replies. “I thought I would be able to make it on my own with touch, smell and hearing but I....I couldn’t. I was stuck.” 

“Bruce told me you were in shock, and even than with your stubborn ass you kept fighting. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You did good, Tony.” Rhodey sits down next to him, his shoulder bumping against his own. 

“You will never lose faith in me, do you?” Tony bites his lip. 

“Because you’re blind? Hell, no.” 

* * *

The next person to visit him was Pepper right in the middle of his therapy session to learn how to rely on his remaining senses. She always had the perfect timing. His nose sniffed the familiar fragrance of a field full with daises which made him turn around to make his way towards her but stopped in his tracks halfway. The cane in his hand ticking gentle against the floor, waiting for her. A new habit he uses to calculate how far a person is standing away from him. Sometimes it works and other times it don’t. 

“Hi?” Tony asks uncertainly, and god he hates that. He misses the time when they spoke casually and playful instead of this...this mess after the break up. He doesn’t blame her for that. They need to take space apart from each other to heal, yet she’s here for him and nothing in the world could have prepared him for that. 

“Hi.” Pepper greets, the tone of her voice breaking. _He can’t do this_. Not now. He doesn’t understand why she’s here and sure, he appreciates the cane she gifted and managed to clear her rather busy schedule for him but he can’t do this. Not when he’s being unable to see her. Or never will. It hurts too much. 

“How are you feeling?” She ask him, her voice sounding normal but he knows better than that. She tries to stay strong for him. 

“I’m good.” Tony smiles for her but it makes him feeling worse.  _He lied._  Again. “Actually, let me rephrase that because I’m in shock you’re actually here and not a vivid imagination in my mind. The truth is I’m not okay.” He blows out with honest, hoping she understands him. It’s not his strongest suit. 

Holding important matters away from her was one of the crucial things that let to the down fall in their relationship. Tony thought he was protecting Pepper to keep the truth away but in reality he was the one hurting her. But he won’t make that mistake again if he wants to keep her as a friend. “But I’m managing.” 

Tony feels her soft fingers against his cheek, gentle touching the skin near his eyes. He leans his face in her palm, taking a deep breath.  _He can’t deny her touch feels very welcome._ Her thumb touches his eyelid as he closes his eyes, allowing her to get used to his situation which is something he hasn’t done yet.  _It will take a long time._  

Her free hand cradles the other side of his face, her thumbs moving over his eyebrows in a gesture that’s meant to comfort him. She pulls slowly his head lower to place a kiss on his forehead before she lets him go to hold his hand in hers. 

“I’m sorry.” She breaks to him, and no he’s not having that. This is not her fault. He’s the one to blame. 

“No.” Tony replies, placing his other hand above hers. He feels her stiffen in his hold and removes his hand away from her. Even when he’s blind, he knows her as the back of his own hand. 

“What?” Pepper ask sobbing and how messed up is this? _It breaks his heart._ She blames herself for his accident which is  _so so damn_  wrong on many levels. He moves his hand this time on her arm with a light touch, waiting for her to respond which she does. She wraps her arms gentle around him to pull him close, her chin leaning against his shoulder. He feels a small drop of her tears against his cheek, sliding down his jaw. 

“If I didn’t let you go..You wouldn’t...” She cries, holding him more tightly. His own eyes start to tear as well, taking a short breath before speaking to remove the lump in his throat.  

“It’s not your fault, Pep. I’m the one who should apologizing to you.” Gentle he kisses the side of her head, mesmerizing the fragrance of daisy to comfort himself as his hand circles around on her back. 

_I’m sorry. For everything._

* * *

Pepper insisted for a walk to fresh up with his arm hooked into hers while she updates him about her new projects.  _It’s a distraction._  A good one he gives her that. He carefully suggests her a few inputs but they are not exactly necessary. More loose ones Pepper can work freely with. He still trusts her completely

She leads him to the open and suddenly he feels exposed to the whole world. His hand quickly shield his eyes against the warmth of the sun but Pepper pulls his hand down to give him  glasses. His fingers feel around the frame that feels somehow familiar. 

“It’s the red one I always liked on you. I thought it may would come handy.” She tells him, her tone soft and gentle as her touch. He feels so grateful. First the cane, now the glasses. How did he deserve such wonderful person? He could kiss her except he won’t.  _Not anymore._  His heart still feels sore. 

She leads him further on a gravel path, small stones shifting underneath his sneakers and his cane collides with a tiny stones. Another weird thing to get used to. 

“I-Thank you.” Tony smiles genuine, feeling a slight warm happiness spreading though him. “Also for the cane. It’s saved me a couple of times from embarrassing situations.” 

She laughs so sweetly in his ears, her arm shifting slightly with her movement. “Colonel Rhodes told me that.” 

He groans loudly. “I was hoping he wouldn’t.” 

They walk further as Pepper chooses their path carefully to avoid the daily bustle of suits and shopping people. It’s peaceful. Just exactly what he needed to get away from the hospital.  _She was right._  He wants to see her smile. His head turns in her direction but the never ending black void is the only thing to be seen. He doesn’t feels scared anymore, rather disappointed mixed with hurt. 

 A mild breeze ruffles his hair, carrying the smell of fresh pine cones, wild jasmine and the clay and dusty soil they grow in. Pepper learned him the knowledge of flowers and trees. Perhaps he didn’t loose everything. 

“Do you remember when you blind folded me to learn me about different kind of flowers and their smells to recognize them?” He sticks his nose in the air, holding his head high. Another laugh blooms from her. _God, he misses the ability to see her face._ The way her beautiful lips would curve upwards, and showing a bit of teeth before she would place her hand before her mouth. It’s cute. 

“Yes, I remember. You were able to guess two right.” She pats his left arm to steer him in the right direction but walks almost into the grass. Thanks to Pepper she stopped him on time from going in. She takes his hand holding the cane, moving a few times with him to let him feel the space between the grass and the gravel. 

“Two? That’s impossible. I had at least six of the ten.” He laughs, joining in as her body vibrates softly against his own. She holds him close against her, guiding him more intensely than most. He likes it. 

“That’s because you peeked underneath your blindfold and J.A.R.V.I.S managed to give you hints. So those didn’t count, Mr Stark.” She corrects him again, by pulling him more to the left side of the path. 

“I can’t do that anymore.” He jokes, and shit it’s too late. Too early for jokes of this kind as Pepper stiffens next to him. He has to say something to make it right but the only words coming out of his stupid mouth is her name, sounding fragile in his own ears.   

“L-Let’s head back. The doctors are probably asking about your whereabouts and you must be tired.” She answers him, trying to turn him around but he stands still, not moving. His hand comes up to remove the glasses from his eyes as he directs his face towards her voice. A tiny gasp hides itself in the wind. 

“Don’t do this. Please don’t. And yeah, it’s bad that I’m..” He waves his glasses across his face. “But it doesn’t mean I’m helpless or fragile. Those two words do not fit me. I’m still Iron Man. I’m still the same guy before the accident. From all the people I thought you would know.“

“I do. It’s just...too much to take in on one day.” She begins to cry, pulling him into another embrace and he lets her. Giving her a moment to pull herself together. “I still care a lot about you, Tony.” 

“I know.” He kisses her gentle on the side of her head, the red strands of her hair sticking to his lips briefly. “Just don’t think of me in that way.”

* * *

The gravel crunches underneath a set of rushed shoes, coming to his and Pepper’s direction. She is still in his embrace, most of her crying quiet down but still feels the tiny tremors going through her body. His head rests against the side of her head, the cane lining up neatly next to his leg, making room for a person if they want go around them, except this person doesn't.

“I'm sorry to interrupt, man. But we need you back.” Barton panted, his voice sounding truly sorry and out of breath. Tony sniffs the unpleasant smell of sweat. That must mean they have been walking quite some time. He would walked further with Pepper if sweaty pants didn’t show up. She stirs in his arm, her head shifting with her movement. A big sigh escapes from his lips. 

“It be better important, Barton.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to give Tony and Pepper some closure of their relationship which I neglected in my other stories. She will make more appearances as a friend (not more) and another old friend makes their return as well. Who? Well, you will see or feel free to play a guessing game and I might give a hint.


	3. A Spider And An Blind Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few days spending in recovery and returns to the Avengers Mansion Tony hears unfamiliar noises in the death of the night, keeping him wide and awake.

Tony blinks his eyes. 

Another blink before his mind catches up he's hearing the same weird noise in the death of the night from a few days back. The first time he heard the noise he was barely awake, thinking the noise could be remaining of his nightmare but this time. He shivers. It's damn real.

One week ago Fury had send Barton to ask him to return to the Avengers Mansion. Seven days ago he stood next to Pepper when he thought, let's take the chance to go home and make himself familiar with his work environment by starting out slowly. He wanted to make Pepper proud but ending in a regretful decision he took too soon and ending horribly. 

The first day he spend a wonderful time bumping into walls, learning how big the mansion really is. Often he's lost in the hallways, not knowing which direction to take to lead him back where he needs to be. Once he managed to trigger his anxiety by thinking he was laying on his back alone in the alley and panicked. Natasha found him laying on the ground. She guided him back to his bed.  _His new favorite spot_. He didn't set a foot in his workshop after his return. His previous favorite spot. 

Turning sideways to lay his head on the fluffy pillow to block slightly the noise out. He wonders who makes such noise in the death of the night.  _Hello, some people need to sleep!_  His hearing increased a tad too much, picking up every sound that's close to him. Not only his hearing no, the other day when Cap baked his team eggs, he smelled the beacon so strong he puked on spot while he loves Cap's eggs.

His taste didn't do much better either. Everything is too strong. He has trouble eating and because of that he's loosing weight. Bruce told him his other senses increase to make up for the lost of his eyes. It's just a matter of time he will get used to them. 

Tony turns on his back, rubbing his hands over his eyes and sliding his fingers further through the locks of his hair, curling on the edges and locks them behind his head. His hair grew longer together with his facial hair growing out in a full beard. Personal hygiene became too difficult, almost nicking his head off when he tried to trim himself. Showering he can barely manage with one or two accidents. He still feels the bruises on his leg.

It's embarrassing to ask possibly for more help from his fellow avengers, trusting only a handful of them. Cap, Thor, Bruce and Natasha. He plays favorites but it's too soon to trust the new members he doesn't know yet, spending so little time with them except from Peter.  

He keeps an eye on him, making sure the young one doesn't make the same mistakes as him by rushing head first into action. Peter often tries to take him to his legendary workshop but it hurts too much. _Another wound that needs healing first._ So instead Peter takes him to his home, telling him about his school projects or new idea's for his suit. It's a nice distraction from his now boring life and Peter starts to grow on him, craving a place in his heart. He cares about him in a way his own father didn't. 

A sigh escaped from his lips. He was being unrealistic to fool himself by thinking he could swing back into his routine and work on his abandoned projects with F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s guidance to help him.  _Iron Man is no more and it hurts him more than anything in the world._  The noise comes up again to his chagrin and stands up as his sleep doesn't come back.

Perhaps he should move back to the forgotten sake place. Sure, he will miss everybody but at least he will be able to sleep. Happy would try to sneak in to give him snacks. A habit he kept doing after he returned home. Perhaps it's him making the noise in the kitchen to draw him out his cave.   

Carefully taking a few steps forwards his hands hands try to find a wall, his fingers feeling around on the large surface until they stumble on something woody. It's the one directing to the main hallway.  _Bingo! The right one in one go._  That doesn't happen often. He learned himself by feeling the structure of each wall to figure out which direction to take. 

He takes a few steps forwards but stops when his hand stumble onto something that feels ceramic, tin and very breakable. Removing his hands from the wall he takes a few steps on his own, confident growing inside of him until the noise becomes more apparent, sounding more feminine.

If he's right...No, he's standing across Natasha's room, his hand finding her door and leans his ear against the cold surface and okay, that's something he clearly wants to stay out of. N _one of his business._  He takes a step back, nearly tripping over the vase behind him and knocks himself against the wall. An ouch escapes from his lips.  _Smooth Stark. Smooth._  She knows he's out here.

This time he has a good reason. " _Oops, I was lost on my way back. Can you redirect me to to the lounge? I can make my way back from there. Sorry, for the interruption of your play date!"_ Tony takes a step away from her door, one of his hands finding the vase again. If as a normal human being like him can hear uh, happy noises from his bedroom, he should invest in some reinforced walls to block them out. 

Tony signs to F.R.I.D.A.Y to make a note, placing the vase closer to the wall and steps away. Another shout comes out of the room. This time the tone of the noise stops him, his hand leaning against the wall.  _Strange._  That didn't sound so happy, more pained in his ears.. He walks back to her door, avoiding the damn vase by a miracle and his hand hovers a few centimeters from her door. _God, what if he's wrong?_ She could easily knock him out. He won't see her coming. Yet, something seems to be very off about this. 

Another shout comes out of the room, and yeah. He had enough. What if she's in real trouble? Not he trusts her to take care of. She can do that on her own but having backup is always nice. Not he can do much.  _Maybe cheering her on?_  His hands search for the keypad, quick fingers finding the buttons but without sight he can't press in the right code. Thank goodness F.R.I.D.A.Y catches his situation by opening the door for him with a soft click, opening the latch from the lock. His hand pushes the door open, slipping through but hears nothing. Not knowing which action he should take he will just...

"Hi?" Tony greets her with doubt in his voice, hearing a gasp on his left side before a light tumble and a click follows. "Are you...Is everything okay in here? I heard weird noises and....Uh..I was worried." In important moments like this one he realizes the importance of being able to see. He always took that for granted. His hands clutches into a fist on his side. Now? Not anymore. He would give everything to see again. Soft fingers touch his shoulders, giving him a pinch as she always goes to snap him out his thoughts. 

"I'm fine, Tony." She sounds sleepy, standing across him as the red lock of her hair gaze his arm. "But thank you." She's an inch shorter than him. He found that detail when she took him shopping the other day for easy wearing clothing for him and her.  

"You did't sound okay." Tony bites his lips, unfolding his hand into a relax position at his side. He misses his cane. "You sounded as if someone was attacking you." She laughs but he doesn't join her. It's a fake laugh. He can hear it in the way she breaths. It's slightly troubled.

He sits down on her bed, his hand stubble against something cold. His fingers feel around the small object, round and hole. The surface feels like iron. Wait, he knows it. _A handcuff_. A wicked one as he feels further but stops not to set off the mechanics. For what he knows there could be a hidden safe-lock to trick him.

"Why do you have a handcuffs tied to your bed?" He asks her genuine worried while different situations play in his mind. What if someone did this to her? One of their own.  _An Avenger._  The thought makes him feel sick in his stomach. He should have seen the signs before anyone else but he can't without his eyes. The bed dips as Natasha sits down next to him, feeling her wrists against his fingers. Gentle he places them on top, feeling the swollen warm skin underneath the tips. 

"It's how I sleep." She replies in a way he knows means back off. He won't. His guts tell him to stay. Natasha one of his close friends. She catches him when he falls and reminds him often not to give up and supports him when needed in her way. He owns her too much. She was there for him from the start. Walking away from her would be a coward action. He's not a coward. 

"Uh-huh. I don't buy that." He shoots back, a small object dropping in the palm of his hand, fingers turning it around. It's a key.  _This doesn't explain much._  Did she got the key after someone played a sick game with her? He can't think who possible do such thing. Cap wouldn't for sure. Not either Bruce or Thor. He doesn't know the other well enough to accuse them. She couldn't do this to herself, could she?

"How about now?" She asks him, guiding his hand holding the key towards the lock of the handcuffs, fitting in. He turns the damn thing open. This is in many ways so wrong. He leaves the key inside, taking his hand back from her hold and sits closer to her. It's a possibility she could. He knows the feeling of being afraid to hurt loved ones to distance yourself to save them from pain can be caused. 

"Why?" He whispers, sitting closer to her but keeping his distance. "We can protect ourselves against a sleep walking ninja. Hell, I can build a whole new system for you. No need to hurt yourself, Natasha." His hand points in the direction of the handcuff. "I get it. I do. When Pepper and I slept together one of my suits attacked her while I didn't meant to." 

"That won't be necessary, Tony." She stands up, taking her hand in his but he doesn't follow her. "You have your own things to be worried about." 

"I meant it." Tony assures her, opening his eyes. He rarely shows them, always hidden underneath his sunglasses or when he wears none his eyes are closed since the accident. For her he opens them to show his word speak actions. He's willing to enter his workshop to help her. "You can tell me everything, you know that right?" He smiles, a real one before standing up from her bed to walk next to her. "I'm up every night to drink coffee in the lounge room. Feel free to drink one with me if you like." 

"Thank you." Natasha guides him through the hallway, his hand linked in her arm. "I will drink coffee with you."

"Great, I will save you a cup! We should wake up Bruce to take a look at your wrist." He whispers, his finger gentle stroking over her more swollen wrist. "Or put some ice on to take away some of the swelling." 

"Ice will do." She replies him, guiding him to the left towards the lounge area he almost missed. 

* * *

A content hum leaves his lips, the warm cloth around his neck and face feels wonderful. Her fingers gentle cradle his face, keeping his head tilted up as a sharp knife cuts down every hair on his face except the ones shaping his signature. He had forgotten how good it felt to be shaved. The soap smelling so astonishing fresh he feels warm inside, making him happy. Another sigh escapes from his lips. He can't remember the last time he felt so calm.

A drop of cold water splats on his arm, coming from the quick fix ice bandage thingy around her wrist. Natasha offered to shave him after patching her up. She moves the blade fast and efficient without hurting him. Tony feels himself drop, sleep taking him down but she keeps him away by poking him with her elbow. He groans unhappy.  

"Can you give me a break?" He smiles, making her pause as turns the corners of his lips move back natural before she continues. "I can't remember the last time I felt so good." He sighs, her fingers taking the way upwards to shave underneath his chin. 

"I take that as a compliment. That's why you need to stay awake, Tony. How can you enjoy when you sleep?" She replies, realizing she actually made a good point. He rolls his eyes. She cleans the blade in sink, filled with warm water. He wonders who taught her to shave like this. 

"You win." Tony admits, feeling her fingers on the back of his head, playing with the curls. He lays his head back in the palm of her hand, opening his eyes. Still not used being unable to see her. Her free fingers touch the sides of his eyes gentle. Another sigh escapes from him in frustration. 

"Mind if I give you a hair cut?" She ask him, sliding her fingers from his eyes into the strands of his hair. 

"No, I don't." He laughs. "What would I be without you?" It slipped from him before he was able to stop himself.  _Stupid._  He parts his lips to say something but she ruffles his hair in answering. 

"I can come up with countless things." She whispers, her hand leaning against his forehead. Her breath tickling on his face. "You're still a valuable member of the Avengers. Don't forget, Tony. You're much more than you think." 

He feels speechless. His lips parted from each other. The Avengers have been treating him carefully except from Cap and Natasha. Both tell him often to get up and try again. Treating him normally as if nothing happened. It motivated him for a while but slowly he could see what a mess he had become. Thinking the avengers would be better of without him prior a few hours ago.

On the contrary she disagrees against him on moments he feels the worse, pulling him out the darkness that was about to enclose him. She ruffles his hair again. He makes himself sit up and tilts his head forwards. The whole time he has been dreading himself not to enter his workshop, avoiding the room as a plague and for what? _He's still Iron man on the inside._ Only the outside has changed. It's not the end of the world. Well, that's a tad to dramatic but it did feel that way to him.  

Tony tries to focus on the sound of the snipping scissor but the sudden the urge to go there is too strong to ignore. His hand tries to find hers, following the chair as guidance and stumbles of her arm. The sounds stops. He smiles at her. 

"This might sounds crazy but come with me?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I wasn't so happy with this chapter at first so I rewrote it but my laptop buddy got stuck and deleted the rewritten chapter which left me with no choice to rewrite it again. I like to think that happened with a reason which kept me positive to continue (:


	4. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wouldn't be Tony if he didn't had problems to work out in his workshop. No, explosions though.

_He's home._

The strong fragrance of oil reeks into his nose, hints of chassis grease and the always present dust he forgets to clean makes him sneeze. The sound echoes around and strangely he doesn't feel lost in the large room.  _He's home._  His hand finds his sturdy toolbox on pure luck, thanks to a screwdriver hanging out as it touches the tip of his finger.

He was working on some adjustments for his suit the last time he was down here. Too busy to notice the screwdriver hanging out and could fall out any moment. He picks the screwdriver and places it further back into the toolbox, his fingers feeling around to feel the other tools inside.  _He missed this._ Tinkering to work around his problems and coming up with solutions to dissolve them.

Tony stands there for a while sorting out to figure out which one is which. He stumbles on something heavy. He figures out it's his drill in his hands and avoids the on button around the handle near his index finger. Placing the tool back down, his fingers have become a bit greasy and sticky but a soft whirling draws his attention more.

The sounds seems to be coming in his way and stops right about....before his nose. Another hand touches his own carefully. It's not Natasha's. Her hands are soft and delicate and she's standing more in the back to give him time alone. He feels further than the hand, touching the arm which is like the rest of it wide and very sturdy. One of it's fingers touches his palm. A smile breaks on the features of his face. 

"Hi Dum-E, did you miss me?" Tony greets, his other hand leaving the tool box to place it somewhere on the massive arm. The structure feels different underneath his fingers without his sight but it's still him. He can tell the difference between the two of them and wonders were the other one is hiding. They never separate far from each other. Suddenly he feels another hand on his shoulder.  _There he is. Right on q_ _ue._ "Hello to you too."

Moving one of his hand from Dum-E to greet U, patting the surface connected between the hand and the arm. He doesn't want them get jealous of each other. Happened once and never again. They both acted as two five year olds including fights and unhappy sounds. 

"It's touching to see you so intimate with them." Natasha speaks, her naked feet sounding almost quiet as he can barely pick up the sound of her moving in his way.

"I never thought I would say this but I missed them." He replies, still patting U and Dum-E each on their other massive arms. "Who has been looking after them?" Tony turns his head in the direction the last time he heard Natasha's voice. 

"Pepper was the one who told us about them and let us in to clean your workshop before you would come home." Her hand touches his shoulder. "Her main concern were these two and to make sure they wouldn't end up lonely. It took some time to gain their trust as they were shy at first. But after some days Dum-E showed us a picture of you and U pointed at you."

Dum-E's hand picks up his free hand as U follows his example by holding the same hand between theirs. Each one one side. 

"I admit that things have been a little though for me. And yes, I got carried away in self-pity but you could have told me about them asking for me." He sighs, pinching his hand between them. "Perhaps I would have gone down here sooner. For them." 

"I gave you a push and Peter tried. Why do you think he kept asking about your workshop?" She asks him. "He tried to help you but he saw you needed time, Tony. And so did the rest of us. That's why we kept them company until you would be ready." 

He suddenly sees images in his mind of Dum-E drawing with Steve who looks very serious. Thor who would try to play arm wrestle but holding his strength back so he wouldn't break any arms. The other Avengers including the new members sitting in his workshop waiting for him to return home. A couple of years ago he couldn't imagine joining the Avengers would give him a family. Let stand be so close with any of them. 

"As long it would take?" He asks with a smile, knowing the answer but hey, he loves to hear how much they love him. It's not something he hears every day. Maybe he pushes it but he feels suddenly overheated in a good way. He's not alone in the darkness. They fight along side with him. 

"Yes." She answers. "We would never give up on you." 

"I wouldn't give up on any of you either." 

* * *

Tony spends the remain part of the night re-exploring his workshop with Dum-E stalking him around. He trips sometimes over his massive equipment, tables and bumping into his cars until he has enough bruises on his body and opens one of the doors after some touchy touchy to sit inside. He keeps the drivers door open. U stands near him, helping to turn on the radio to break the silence in the large room. Natasha knocks on the roof of the car, making him tilt his head up as if he can see her. It's a natural response. 

"I thought you might liked to have you cane with you." Natasha touches his finger with his cane. Just for that he wants kiss her. Figure of speaking. Not that she not attractive. She's very beautiful woman but he barely survived a long lasting relationship and he's not in any condition to start a new one at the moment. 

"Tha..." Tony shocks, his rock music blaring suddenly into his sensitive ears. It hurts as his fingers try to find the volume button but Natasha beat him, turning the noise lower to a more comfortable hearing. "Thanks as I was trying to say before U found the right button." He takes the cane from her. "Also for my cane. I keep forgetting it."

She's hovering very close to him. He can tell from her breath tickles in his face and one of her hands rests on his knee to hold herself up from dropping in his lap. He lays back more in the chair, giving her space to back up before he steps out of the car as well. 

"Maybe you should keep it more closer to you." She suggests, a hint of a smile in her voice. 

His hand rubs the back of his neck, feeling the length of his uneven hair. Right, he walked away from his haircut Natasha gave him. "Or I could make my cane come to me when I whistle." He winks. "Any chance you feeling up to continue the hair cut before I rushed the both of us down here?" 

"I could cut your hair here. You seem to be more comfortable than I have seen you in weeks." She touches a locks of his hair, her fingers ruffle through as he feels tiny strands falling down on his bare shoulders. "If you would sit down on the chair on your left. I'm going to get my equipment." 

"Yeah, sure. That shouldn't be a problem." He replies, rolling his cane forward to find his way. Somehow he must have taken the wrong turn, colliding against one his Iron Man suits. He doesn't feel so good anymore. Shaking his hand touches the chest piece, fingers curling around the reactor.

 _A reminder of his life used to be_.

His hand travels further over the shoulder, up until he reaches the insides of his helmet. The soft fabric smooths his fingers. 

"Dum-E, hold this." Tony waits till he hears the familiar whirling sound stops next to him, holding the cane out until he feels Dump-E take it before he lets it go. Very careful not to drop any other parts of his suit, he places his now free hand on the other side of his helmet and takes it away from the suit.  _Right._  The next part. He places the helmet on his head with ease, keeping the upper part open to release a breath he was holding.

What was he thinking?  _He can't go back to how things were._

Slowly he turns around, canting his head to the left to hear anything.  _It's quiet._  His hands come up on the chin part, fingers holding the rim of the helmet. He feels his breath starts to stutter.  _No, no, no._   _Not here. Not now. Please._ His lips open for more air in his lungs and opens his eyes. It feels odd not to see the hub but only darkness. At least he's not alone this time. Dum-E is standing next to him. Natasha is upstairs. U? He doesn't know but somewhere close. 

Tony takes another deep breath through his nose and breaths out from his mouth. _In and out_. His nose smells the fresh rained street, the wetness damping onto his clothing. Another breath. No, the water comes from his hair, tiny drops leaking on his shoulders. _He's safe_. He's not down but standing in his workshop.

Slowly he sits down, Dum-E touching his back to guide him. He leans against him, his head against the arm and his shaking fingers finds his cane. He sits still and waits for his anxiety attack to pass. His eyes blink as they start to feel dry. At least he can breath normally as his mind clears into the present time.

Perhaps..He sits up straighter. No, he could build in some kind mechanics in his suit to communicate with his broken eyes. Heat and touch sensors to interpret the specific stimulation he needs to outweigh his sight loss. His fingers turn down the upper part of his helmet, once more taking in the feeling of wearing without seeing. He hears the hub coming online.

Soft sounds click inside to load the system before it's quiet again. 

* * *

"Alright, how are we going to do this?" Tony thinks out loud, taking his cane back from Dum-e and stands up from the ground, his legs slightly unstable. 

"Heat sensors can only detect heat so without sensing cold I wouldn't be able to maneuver myself around obstacles like buildings." His cane hits on something. A table he thinks. "I might can make an extendable cane build in the suit but would be not useful in combat and look goofy. A radar would more make sense." He walks a few steps further. "That way I would be able to sense incoming attacks and such." 

"What about flying?" Natasha reminds him on his left, taking the direction towards her voice to find the chair she asked him to sit in. He desperately needs that haircut. He can't take a minute longer with long hair. It's feels stuffy in his helmet, yet his new project makes him excited to try out.

He would be able to see again. Well, sort off. 

"Flying will prove some difficulty to figure out." Tony answers before finally finding the damn chair with his stick and sits down. Natasha clicks the two buttons underneath his helmet to to widen up the head area and removes it. She turns him around in the chair, feeling a bit dizzy but he's happy guy. "I won't walk off this time."  

"If you do I strap you to this chair." Natasha snorts, sprinkling his hair wet with some kind of sprayer. "Close your eyes, Tony." 

Tony stays quiet after that, tilting his head from left to right whenever she wants him to move. She washes his hair in a portable washing sink with a vanilla scent shampoo. Her fingers feel nicely against his skull, messaging the skin. He feels himself being pulled into sleep again and tilts his head more against her hands as his body relaxes completely. 

Though he won't let himself drift away by thinking up designs in his mind. His sensors have to be very sensitive, and build through his suit as a nerve system in the human body. Bruce could help him with that. It's his expertise. Her fingers trail down to his neck, relieving some of the tight knots in there. He groans in pleasure. Her fingers slide slowly back to the front of his hair line, shielding his eyes with one hand against the falling hair.  

"We have to wake up Bruce." He tells her as the snipping of Natasha scissors continues. "After you're done, of course. I can't appear with a bad haircut." Yikes, that would look very desperately which he's not. Yes, he has the patience to wait till his fantastic hairstylist is done. His fingers tap on the cane in excitement. 

"I met Bruce on the way back." She places on of her fingers underneath his chin, lifting his head up. "I asked him to join us."  

Hmm, Bruce never get's up early. Most of the time he sees him after lunch. Perhaps it's lunch time? He still doesn't have a sense of time, having a hard time to estimate when to sleep and when to be awake. Except when the warmth sun touches his face he knows it's either morning or afternoon.

To think of it he doesn't know what day it is. But this happens to be a problem he had before well, before being blind. J.A.R.V.I.S. was the one to remind him to make him aware. Suddenly he misses him. He could go to Vision who not J.A.R.V.I.S. but has the same voice and made of the same code as J.A.R.V.I.S. They are not the same. 

F.R.I.D.A.Y is a good replacement and excellent but different in many ways. He misses his friend.  _His co-pilot._  He could recreate him using the backups before Ultron happened. Instead of being being just an A.I he could give J.A.R.V.I.S. a physical body to work with. A dog? A snort escapes his lips.

" _Sir, I would like to discuss my new shape. I don't want to be rude but I'm not fond being a dog._ " Or the opposite.  _"Sir, I want at least three walks a day and treats every time I do something for you."_   He bursts out in a laugh.  

"How late is it?" Tony asks her, still laughing and wipes the wetness from his eyes. Having a J.A.R.V.I.S. dog sounds appealing to guide him around. He could hand him items and walk him in those harnesses he has to hold. That way J.A.R.V.I.S. will give him his independency back. Just having a little buddy around to keep him company. One that can talk, help and listen to him.  

"It's morning." Natasha tilts his head to the left, trimming the side a little with a razor. "Do you mind sharing why you're laughing?" 

She tilts his head from left to right, cutting away the missed long strands on that side. The new haircut feels much lighter than before. She smooths his hair down, taking a few between her fingers before she continues to snip away. 

"I'm going to get myself a dog." 

* * *

 _Right, this should work._  F.R.I.D.A.Y. and Bruce helped him to set up the codes to re-program J.A.R.V.I.S. Junior into his new physical body. The insides are much large than his actually shape. He could always reverse it if things do not work out and go back to his original setting. 

 _Alright, here goes nothing._  He presses the button to activate his long waited childhood dream come true. Waiting a few minutes but nothing happens. His fingers find the cables but each one of them are plugged in. Maybe he placed them the wrong? God, what if he created another Ultron in dog version? His hearts beats faster in his ribcage. 

"Woof?" He tries. Bruce sighs in next to him. It sounds defeated. He bites his lips before parting them to say something but someone beats him to it with a sound that sounds very dog like. A wiggling tail as the air hits his arm. He laughs. 

_"Hello sir."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had an alternate name: What have I done? I couldn't help myself. I wanted J.A.R.V.I.S. to be a part of the story and suddenly my mind went like let's go back to that chapter and add him. I hope you guys like it (:


	5. Systems Initializing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not only the suit needs adjustments. The man inside named Tony Stark needs some too.

"Boss, don't get me wrong. I like spending time with you." Happy starts, making Tony roll his eyes behind his sunglasses. His right hand holding the handle of J.A.R.V.I.S. harness tighter who walks forward. It's another odd feeling to be guided but more safe now J.A.R.V.I.S. has become his seeing eyes. He didn't bump into anything. So far so good. 

"Oh, there we go. Can't you for once be relaxed for once? Is that too much to ask? Enjoy your well earned donut?" Tony asks, taking a bite of his own. The sweet sugary taste spreading in his mouth. He feels J.A.R.V.I.S. slow his pace to match with his. 

"I would have If you didn't take your blue dog with us to the park. You're drawing unnecessary attention to you with it. I see photographers lurking on every corner and ready to take a picture of you." Happy munches, his tone slightly muted by the donut. He sniffs the dark chocolate from his breath. 

"Let them. There's nothing we can't handle, right J?" Tony smiles, really genuinely smiles. It feels good to spend time outside with the sun shining on his face. He doesn't have any concerns about the paparazzi. It will work in his favor. Pepper has been protecting him enough as it is and answering on his behalf about his condition. He handle a few questions. 

"I might be blue but I'm Mr.Stark's guide dog. It's my job to guide sir safely to his destinations." J.A.R.V.I.S. replies, pulling to the left a bit so he has time to adjust his footing to take the left turn.  _Easy peasy_. He has still his cane with him if needed.

"Yeah, yeah I know that. But couldn't you be blond or brown? You look like a oversized blue Labrador." Happy grumbles, taking the empty napkin from Tony. He might will go back for a second donut or a fresh made pizza sounds good too. His nose picks up the smell from the small pizzeria close by he would visit after a battle. Those tend to make him hungry. His stomach growls. 

"Uh, huh." He replies distracted, standing still. "J.A.R.V.I.S. new design is actually based on the Pyrenean Mountain Dog. I wanted him be to large of size." 

Tony choose his size basically to scare off any potential danger. His new suit is far from done so J.A.R.V.I.S. has to do the job till then. He was quite surprised J.A.R.V.I.S. took his new body well.  _No demands. No whining. Ready to go_. He feels Happy brush his shoulder against his, standing close to him to protect him against camera's. He does hear some clicking noises. J.A.R.V.I.S. tail touches the side of his hand, alerting him when he's unable to speak. As if his new color doesn't scare people. Not that he cares. 

"And blue?" Happy points out, taking his arm to move him from the spot but he doesn't. He won't. His head turned towards the amazing smell. God, he could use a slice. 

"I didn't know about his color until you just told me." Tony replies, turning his head towards Happy's not happy voice.

"Do wanna go for a pizza?"

* * *

_He's standing in his suit._

Correction, he's standing in the most amazing suit he ever build. It has custom made warm and cold sensors, radars to detect the surroundings around him and touch sensitivity. Tony takes a step forward. The boots feel light and the suit feels once again as his second skin.  _Oh, it's good to be back._  The corners of his lips curl upwards into a full blown smile.

He takes another step forward with his teammates hovering near by.  _It's amazing. Incredible._  Too many things are going through his mind to describe exactly how he's feeling. Tony lift his arm up, activating the repulsor in the palm of his hand. The heat sensors tickle in his fingers, giving him a sign he should aim more to the left. He does and shoots. His ears hear the target drop that Natasha placed for him to hit.  _A can of soup._  The sound of liquid splattering on the ground.

Turning his arm down he takes the handle of J.A.R.V.I.S. harness to guide him to his audience existing of Cap, Natasha, Rhodey and Bruce. As joyful he's feeling there's still a long way to go but this right here? This is the start of many possibilities. One he will gladly take with two hands. He opens his faceplate, adding more fresh air inside to breath into his lungs. 

"How did I do?" He asks, standing still as J.A.R.V.I.S. has parked them next to the bench. Using his gauntlet to feel the surface before he sits down. 

"In overal good, Tony. You seem to have the hang of it. Only..."  Bruce stops. "The suit isn't the only thing that needed to be adjusted. You need to adjust too." He continues, hearing the softness in his voice. 

"Me? I can fight." He interrupts, trying to find the location of the empty soup cans but J.A.R.V.I.S. corrects him with his muzzle, pushing him to to left. Yeah, okay he get's where Bruce is coming from but that's just practice. He couldn't fly in one day either.  

"You still fight as if you can see." Natasha breaks in. "You have to learn do without. Trusting on your other senses." 

"We won't be able to bring you on a mission if you can't keep yourself safe, Tony." Cap's adds, placing his hand on his shoulder. "We lost you almost once. That won't happen again."

"Your sentimental won't help me, Cap." He huffs out, crossing his arms and sits back agains the wall. "Let's say I do want to adjust myself. How am I supposed to do that? I use my other senses every day. How's that so different from how I fight now?" 

"He did beat me up in the hospital. I give him that." Rhodey laughs. 

Natasha's heels click against the floor. The sound coming to a stop somewhere near him him which makes him look up in response. J.A.R.V.I.S.'s tail wags against his hand. The tip touching the top of his hand each time, leaving tiny gusts of wind. 

"Leave that to me." She replies, hauling him up from the bench with his free hand. Surprising him but he manages covering it. "Are you ready, Tony?"

"Whenever you are."  

* * *

"This no fun!" Tony panted out of breath, missing his suit now he's without the safety of his cocoon. She took away his armor and thus, leaving him with no protection. "I will end up being blue like J.A.R.V.I.S. by the end of the day."

"This is not suppose to be fun, Tony." Natasha cuts him, her footsteps fading away in the distance. 

His chest heaves with exhaustion and he's laying on his back on the large practice mat. Training with Natasha has proven to be more challenging than training with Cap who's a joy to train with. Her hand touches his to take and hauls up him until he stands on his two feet. She presses his cane in his hand.  _Great._  He's doing that bad and he didn't hear her come back.   

"You know what they say about owners and their dogs." Rhodey laughs. 

Tony ignores what's supposed to be his best friend, holding his cane in his hand tightly. J.A.R.V.I.S. is on the bench and not allowed to help him so he has no choice but to do this on his own. He tries figure out a way from which distraction Natasha attacks him before he can actually can hear her attacking him.

Not an easy job to do with a super ninja. She's quick. Way too quick. Moving his cane from left to right to feel any objects laying in his path and takes a step forward. Sadly that was a mistake as she kicks his cane out of his hand. 

_Shit._

"Don't you feel any sense of guilt? You took away a cane from a blind man." Tony laments, holding his hand before him and bumps into something soft. He pulls his hands back to avoid inappropriate touches and the claims mostly follow afterwards but positions his hands in a protective way to defend himself. Her fingers curl around his wrist to lift his arms higher. She's corrects his stance as she places her feet between his, tapping the left on the side to move. He does until she's satisfied.  

"Which senses do you use?" Natasha ask him, annoyance clearly visible in her voice. 

"Uh, hearing mostly." Tony replies, feeling dumb struck by her question. He can't help but this feels a bit like she's playing a trick with him. 

"Why?" She asks as if he's taking a test, releasing his wrists from her fingers and places her hands on his hips to test his stance which is solid. She removes her hands entirely from him but keeps her distance close. 

"How else am I supposed to know where you approach from? I don't have spider senses." He sighs frustrated, starting to get itchy. 

"By smell and touch." She states as if it's the normal thing of the world.  _Actually it is._  Mostly he relies his hearing, using his nose only when he picks up the smell and touch to find his direction. Kind of stupid he did come up with it himself. He's  _supposed_  to be the smartest person in the room.  

"You want me to sniff and touch you? I'm not sure if that's a good idea. You might get the wrong idea's from me." He holds his hands out, finding one of her wrists and geez, he forgot about her swollen one. His fingers feel gentle the soft skin but the swelling is gone thankfully. It feels normal as her wrist should be. Soft and delicate. Though she could snap someones neck with her bare hands. He releases her. 

"Use your other senses, Tony." She replies.

He takes a deep breath. She's standing a few feet away from him. His toes feel the cane laying on the ground. He kicks it up from the ground to catch it but misses it.  _Again._  He wonders if his training get more worse than it is now.

Tony bends down to grab it, and stands up as he holds the cane before him.  _Three choices._   _One,_  he could use the cane as an weapon. Not very useful as the materials are light weight and won't do much damage.  _Two_ , he could use the cane to determine how far Natasha standing from him but that wouldn't be useful either because it would make her either move away from him or close him in when he does manages to find her. 

His hearing wouldn't help him in this situation.  _She's quiet._  So are Steve, Rhodey and Bruce. He turns his head in the direction of the bench, listening to any sound but not picking anything. The adrenaline kicks in his veins. He doesn't know where or how much space there is truly between them.

 _Three._  He has to use his remaining senses to find her as she told him to do.  

His nose picks up her sweet scent of velvety petaled red roses mixed with slightly sweat but her perfume controls the odor, not letting it escape.  _Still, she smells fantastic._  He turns himself around to the direction of her scent.  _Got ya_. The corners of his lips curl into a satisfied grin. Feeling a cold breeze against his face, making him bring up his hands to his face as he blocks an incoming fist.  _Just in time._  He laughs relieved. His hand holds her fist in his palm. Finally he did something right. 

"Like this? If there is one thing you should know I learn fast." Tony says. 

He did however forgot about his footwork. Her feet touches his. He tries to correct his stance but  _too late!_  She wipes the floor with him as his back hits the ground and an ouch escapes from his lip.  _She played dirty._  Frustrated he stays down, arms spread out along with his legs.  _He has enough training for today._  A gentle poke against his ribcage makes his head lift up from the ground. 

"Do you give up?" She asks him, her cockiness evident in her voice. God, he hates that and rolls his eyes.  _He's not one to quit._  Though he does feel tired. Tony pushes himself on his elbows into a sitting position and accepts Natasha's hand tickling his own to stand up. He will win the next round. Two can play dirty. 

"Never." 

* * *

_He's choking. Unable to breath. He tries to move but no use. His lips part to catch air into his lungs. He can't. No. No. No. Please. Not in this way. Far away from his favorite group of people who have become his family. The panic works through his body, the tremors increasing as his strength begins to falter. His suit has gone out. No longer responding. He's drifting alone in space. The last thing he will see is the burning sun, looking so majestic and terrify at the same time. A scream escapes from his lips._

"Sir, please wake up." J.A.R.V.I.S. speaks to him. "You're having a nightmare." 

His suit didn't respond to his commands, yet J.A.R.V.I.S. is talking directly to him. He manages to push himself up in a sitting position.  _Able to move freely._  His fingers clamber up to take a hold of J.A.R.V.I.S. fur who stands on his left. It's synthetic. Not made of real fur. He made the synthetic fur together with Bruce to make J.A.R.V.I.S.'s look complete.  _He's not in space._  

Taking a deep breath to calm his heaving chest, he slides his fingers though the soft strands. His nightmares have become more frequent since the accident. He keeps J.A.R.V.I.S. close to him, allowing him to take the otherwise empty space in his bed. His fingers finds often their way to his soft fur to pet him and to pull him back into reality which is not easy without his sight to focus himself on. 

"You wanna go for a walk, boy?" 

* * *

The walk itself isn't really a walk, more a escape from the remains of his nightmare. His legs feel still unstable and J.A.R.V.I.S. often has to help to keep him up straight.  _He doesn't want to lay down._  His fingers tighten around the handle of his harness and grits his teeth together as J.A.R.V.I.S. leads him in a slow pace to the doors which leads to the garden. The cold night feels refreshing against his face as he pushes the door open with one hand. He's standing in his bathrobe. Tiny drops of sweat in his hair as the short strands sticks on his forehead. He takes a deep breath, taking in the air into his lungs and breaths out with his mouth. 

J.A.R.V.I.S. guides him further on to the the gravel path, tiny stones shifting underneath his feet as he walks. Normally he would go to his workshop to thinker but he didn't felt much for it this time. He hears the crickets singing in the grass, a large owl flies over his head in search for a nice meal and in the background he hears the sound of water. They are standing close by the waterfall Tony installed for Bruce before moving. He uses it more than the man himself. J.A.R.V.I.S. leads him to the stone bench to sit down. 

"Hey."

The familiar voice comes from possibly from the second stone bench on his left. He sits down next to  J.A.R.V.I.S. as footsteps approach him. The corners of his lips curl into a grin, smelling the scent of fresh coffee steaming in the cup she carries with her.  

"Hi." He greets back. The strands of her red hair gaze his shoulder as Natasha takes her seat next to him. Her perfume smells different than the last time. She smells like a flower shop, different kinds together in a colorful bouquet and freshly watered to keep them fresh and fruity. A warmness touches the tip of his fingers, going further into his palm as his hand curiously shapes around the object. It's the cup of coffee he smelled. He moves his head in the direction of Natasha, one of his eye brows rising.

"Are you sure?" Tony asks. "I don't mind getting my own." 

"You shared your coffee with me too." Natasha replies, hearing the smile in her voice. 

He takes a small sip and whoa, he tastes something strong added with the coffee.  _Vodka?_  He takes another sip. Yeah, it's vodka. The liquid goes smooth through his throat and takes another sip before he passes the cup back. They keep passing the cup back and forth a couple of times. He feels the texture of her lipstick on the rim of her cup, tiny bits sticking on his lips.  _It's like fresh kissing with a cup between._  The coffee goes in his wrong throat hole causing him to cough the liquid up before shoving the coffee roughly back somewhere near her hand. J.A.R.V.I.S. steps in to prevent to cup from falling on the gravel ground. That would have be a waste. 

"I had enough coffee." Tony coughs, Natasha's hand patting his back as she takes with her other hand the cup back. "What did you put in there?"

"Vodka. You okay? Normally you can hold your liqueur." She sounds concerned as he waves her hand away or tries as he can't find her hand exactly but he stumbles on her arm instead. God, how did he come up with that? Sure, he had a crush on Natasha a long time ago. One that went away.  _Shoo._  His heart beats faster in his chest. It's from choking almost in the darn coffee.  _Not because of Natasha_. It's the vodka's doing. He hasn't drank any alcohol for quite some while, losing his hold. Slowly he feels the need to cough drop until it quiets down completely. 

"Yeah, just a wrong sip. I didn't expected the coffee to be so hot." Tony replies with a grimace, his hand finding the top of J.A.R.V.I.S.'s head and gives a soft pet to let him know he's doing fine. J.A.R.V.I.S sits down against his right leg, keeping his head up as his tail wags against his feet. 

He adjusted himself to behave as a real dog. Though Natasha knows who's hiding underneath the thick layer of soft fur and mechanics. He wouldn't fool her but plenty of people he did manage. Children love him. His hand moves lower to the back, his fingers sliding through the long fur. Natasha takes a sip of the remaining of the coffee before she places the cup next to her on the bench, the porcelain chinks against the stone surface. He wonders how long Natasha sat alone before he arrived. Or rather if she still uses the handcuffs.

His free hand touches the surface of the stone bench to search for her hand but finds her fingers instead.  _That could work too._ He's not far off. His fingers ghosts over them and the top of her hand until he reaches her wrist. Gentle he curls his fingers around and to his dismay he finds her skin swollen and warm underneath his tips of his fingers. A sigh escapes from his lips.

"Would you...Let me help you with this thing?" He asks, his index finger rubbing her soft skin above the wrist. She doesn't pull her arm from him or showing the lack any pain he knows it must hurt. Even when he's being gentle with her. "You don't have to hurt yourself, Natasha." 

"No." She replies, the muscles in her arm flexing underneath his palm. He knows that must hurt too with a wrist swollen like hers. Maybe he should find Bruce to take a look at the damage she inflicts to herself every night. It can't be healthy. His thumb strokes the underside of her palm. She turns her hand around in his hold. Her own thumb strokes the side of his hand. 

"Please?" He tries, taking his other hand from J.A.R.V.I.S. head to pick up her wrist in the palm of his hand. She feels soft. "I don't feel comfortable knowing with the thought you sleep every night with those damn cuffs." 

"Tony, I sleep my whole life this way." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious how blue J.A.R.V.I.S. was before his new look. Just think of very a very bright color of blue. I almost made J.A.R.V.I.S. human but I scrapped the idea on the last moment when I re-wrote this chapter. 
> 
> I hope you guys still enjoy and thank you for all the kudos, lovely comments and subscriptions. Much appreciated (:


	6. The Art In Seeing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony spends time with his friends from which he shamefully neglected some but still giving him a helpful hands while others require his emotional help.

_A kid with the brightest smile he has ever seen is standing across him._

_Pepper would have loved her. She's cute. Her green eyes glittering in the single spotlight shared between them. At least that's how Tony feels with the heat of the lamp burning on his head. Curious but not too oblivious that would make him look bad. His eyes take a look around on and off stage. He's right. The spotlight is aimed directly at them. He shrugs his shoulder, not feeling a tiny bit pressure. The kid doesn't either. His eyes notices old oak wooden floor, a few splinters sticking out of the surface from the age before he turns his attention back to the kid._

_She's standing on her toes, wearing a faded pink tutu and the strands of her fiery red hair are bound in a neat bun. She lifts her hand gracefully, tiny fingers point to him while she holds her other arm high enough for him to take her hand. She invites him to dance. The corners of his lips go up. She's courageous. He gives her that. Her green eyes gaze into his own and just like that Tony knows he has seen those before. Perhaps in the audience of Stark Industries. He wonders where her parents are._

_"Tony." The kid calls him suddenly, her voice sounding heavily familiar with an accent. Russian he guesses._

_"How do you know my name?" He asks her softly, returning a friendly smile when she lifts her other hand further above her head. A handcuff dangles around her wrist, swollen and her skin is colored in an angry red color. Shocked he points to the handcuff. "Did your parents did that to you, dear?"_

_The little kid shakes her head, mouthing a no. He does't buy it. She twirls in the light. A pirouette. She leaps forward and takes tiny steps on her toes before spreading one foot forward as she keeps the other on the ground. He claps for her in the hope to gain her trust and to find out about the story behind those handcuffs. Stupid but somehow he feel connected with her. He keeps his eyes on her, finding her very talented for her age. Many professional dancers won't be able to compete with her. She would wipe them of stage._

_Pepper would be able to help roll her in one of those top notch ballet academies and buy her professional clothing instead the old rags she dances in currently. T_   _he light dims slowly into almost nothing. Leaving him and the kid in the dark. He tries to search her. Maybe if he doesn't move she will find him. A tiny hand touches his fingers. Her eyes lighting up in the dim light. She found him._

_"Sir?" She calls him louder and suddenly manly? It's J.A.R.V.I.S. voice to be precise. Tony doesn't understand why his A.I. would be here. He didn't call the suit. His eyes frantically searched around for answers but stumbles on none. The darkness stretches on endlessly._

_"Jarvis?" Tony replies, tiny fingers shifting in his hands until she slips away from him. He tries to catch her. God, he won't forgive himself if anything will happen to her. No kid should go through it alone. He feels his breathing fastening before he runs after her. Suddenly the floor given out on him, cracking on underneath is sneaks as Tony shouts before his head hits onto something soft, breaking his fall._

A set of tiny toes touches his arm and a squishy nose pokes in his face. It's J.A.R.V.I.S standing over him. The voice he heard. If it's doggy J than he must have fallen down from his bed. 

Tilting his head against the softness of the rug, Tony places his hands on his forehead and releases a long breath. Sweat drops tinkle down from his temples. He closes his eyes. It was a dream. _Get yourself together Stark._ The images of the kid still plays in his mind.  _God, he knows who she's now._   _Natasha._  She told so little about her childhood. Hers was more messed up than his own.  _She opened up to him._  His curiosity didn't won him to ask for more. He respects her the right to tell him whatever she wants and he takes that.  _No need to be pushy_. He will be there for her when she needs him.  

"What's the time J?" Tony asks, one of his hand moving from his forehead to pet J.A.R.V.I.S. chest, his fingers sliding through his soft fur. 

"It's precisely nine in the morning, sir." J.A.R.V.I.S. replies, removing his paw from his arm. Tony narrows on of his eye brows. _He overslept_. Pushing himself up with his elbows into a sitting position and he stretches his arms above his head before standing up. "Mr. Rogers has made breakfast and asks if you would like to join." J.A.R.V.I.S. continues, placing the harness into his left hand, feeling the handle snug in his palm. Normally F.R.I.D.A.Y would leash him before hand but he has to practice when she's not around which is not a lot. 

"Tell Cap, I'm on my way." 

* * *

Of course, Bruce had to be the one to correct J.A.R.V.I.S. harness. He didn't mind. Rather focusing himself on Cap's famous baked eggs with beacon now he doesn't feel the need anymore to puke. The soft eggs melts in his mouth, crisps of beacon giving the whole breakfast a nice bite.  _He loves it._ Nobody can beat him. Many tried including Pepper but Cap stayed the unbeatable champion in baking eggs. Steve touches his arm briefly, adding seconds on his place. God, he could spend the whole day eating but sadly he has an appointment to get to. 

"Thanks." He happily munches on a piece of beacon. "Would you mind making more for to go?"

"Sure." Steve replies. "I'm more than happy to."

 _Great._  Tony hears the smugness in his voice, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. The moment his appetite returned Steve has been using him as guinea pig to taste different recipes. Not a very useful one as he liked each plate before his nose. He doubts that was the real reason behind Cap's reason. Bruce told him multiply times in warning he looked unhealthy. His skin drained from color and too thin for a man of his length. Steve had been too determined to make him healthy. Gaining more than he lost in the first place. His hand touches his full stomach. Not that he's ungrateful. 

A large rough hand clasps on his shoulder as somebody takes the seat next to him he hears from the creaking stool. 

"Man of Iron!" Thor's voice blooms loudly in his ears. "I bought books from my land. They might help you to understand the language of the blind." 

Confused Tony's eyes blink a couple of times. The language of the blind?  _Oh, braille._ Thor removes his hand from his shoulder to attack probably his own eggs, hearing the shrieking silverware on a place. Hurting his ears. He feels a squire object being pushed against the back of his fingers.  _It's a book._  No, stacked books as his fingers touch each back, feeling curves and dots on them. He stuffs an egg with a piece of beacon in his mouth before taking one in his hand.  Opening the book on a random page his hand touches the page. He doesn't know what's it about. Some kind of instruction manual about an engine. Rather a complicated engine, feeding his curiosity as his fingers feels the curves and dots explaining it's mechanics.

"Do you like it?" Thor asks him proudly. Tony snorts.  _Yeah, it's amazing._ Like finding a secret diary nobody is allowed to read. He always wanted to see Asgard but never got the chance before well, the accident.  _His own fault._  Still, this will help him to learn either way to understand what's beyond human knowledge. He can work out a whole new defense to protect earth. 

"Yes, this is perfect." He replies with a broad smile to show his gratitude. Hoping it will come across. "Thank you." 

"You would have done the same for me, man of Iron." Thor laughs between his bites, hearing the beacon crack between his teeth. "I'm happy to provide more if needed." He's about to say  _yes please_  but he doesn't get so far as a bark not from J.A.R.V.I.S and footsteps enter the kitchen interrupts. 

"Man, you get the most boring mail. Charities asking for donations, invites for interviews and parties we know you won't attend. Can I go instead?" Barton cuts in the conversation, laying down the envelops on top of the open book. He picks them up to feel how many and places them next to his empty plate. Barton well, Clint offered for him to read his mail. He doesn't have anything to hide and if he had they would find out anyway.  _So what's the point of hiding._  His fingers feel the last sentence about the engine before closing the book in his hands. 

"No." Tony replies. "Pepper would kill me if I send you as the face of Stark Industries." He tried to take his fellow Avengers with him to charities which became a success but the parties became an utter disaster. Pepper almost had left Stark Industries as cause. He could convince her barely to stay. 

"Come on, bro. I have a nice suit." Clint tries, feeling Lucky's wet nose bump against his knee. He gives him a soft pat with his free hand while holding the book in his other hand. A sigh escapes from his lips. 

"No." 

* * *

"If I hold my hand like this. Do you feel that?" Rhodey asks, holding his wrist in a tight grip but in a natural position. He hopes his watch won't fall of. Even if it does J.A.R.V.I.S would catch his watch before hitting the ground. He's fast. Rhodey however isn't. Taking his time to explain every move he teaches him for self protection. He thought spending actually time with his best friend would be fun instead he took the fun out of it and changed it to very boring. 

"Yes, wise master please continue." He sights, waving his free hand. 

"Make all the jokes you want but one day you are going to be grateful I taught you this." Rhodey says and whoops there goes his arm. Rhodey pushes his left arm backwards, folding his right arm around the upper part of Tony's trapped arm. Unable to move or to fight back Rhodey's left arm pushes him further back in a locked position.  _He can't move_. The corners of his curl into a grin. Okay, he admits this move is interesting. He wants to try again as his hand travels along his own stuck arm for guidance until he finds Rhodey's shoulder to pat him in surrender. 

"You win. I want to try again but this time take it slow. I actually want to be able to do it myself." Tony's laughs, his arm released from Rhodey's mean lock. Feeling a tingle going through as he flexes his hand. 

"I'm being easy on you, Tony." Rhodey snorts, pushing his left hand away as he tries to throw a punch in the direction of his voice.  _A light one_. Hardly doing any damage if he would land him. Not that he ever will. His arm get's caught but this time he's pushing back which turns into an arm wrestling kind of thingy until Rhodey grabs him by the inside of his elbow, holding his fist against his cheek and shoulder to let him know he lost. Again.  _God dammit_. Feels a breeze from his left. 

"You're doing much better than a few weeks ago." Rhodey tries to cheer him up. "Just keep practicing with me and Natasha and you will be back in the field in no time."

"Interesting you said that." Tony replies, wriggling his toes as he tries to locate one of Rhodey's feet. The tip of his toes touches what seems feel as his ankle, around the fibula on the side. That's even better. "I have been learning quite some handy moves from the both of you like for example this one." He hooks his feet around his ankle, pulling his feet underneath him but Rhodey still hold his arm and takes him down with him on the math. His face lands on Rhodey's stomach, shaking heavily from laughing and a snort escapes from his lips before he laughs along. 

"Oh, man. You think I wouldn't notice that? Nice try though." Rhodey laughs, the sound bringing life to the empty gym. Reserved to spar for the both of them. J.A.R.V.I.S. stands by his side, find his harness to stand up from his best friend and holds out his hand. Rhodey takes his hand, taking on his full weight until he's standing next to him as his best friend throws his arms around him in a hug. Lots of hugging lately. Not that he's complaining. He quite likes them as he lays his head on Rhodey's shoulder.

"I had to try." Tony replies, feeling Rhodey's hand on the back of his head. He feels Rhodey stalling against him and the laughter quieted down into more serious tone. 

"Promise me you won't go into battle without me next to your side." Rhodey whispers in his ear, holding his head closer against him into a tighter hug. This is Rhodey's emotional moment. Rare but possible and Tony knows the hidden words between his sentence. He will answer him.  _Always._  His hand rubs gentle circles on his back. The prototype of his new suit must have been the cause of this. He can understand. It was only a few weeks he was in the hospital.   

"Only if you do the same. Deal?" 

"Deal." 

* * *

Pepper asked him to drop by if he had time which he has more than enough. His hand knocks on the wooden door before it opens and J.A.R.V.I.S. leads him inside her office. She's still in a meeting but he can wait. Sitting down on a seat he gives J.A.R.V.I.S. a well earned back rub. If he remembered the layout right on his left side would be a very colorful painting and on the right the painting of Iron Man which he called art and she disagree with. Still she hanged the painting up for him. He wonders if she kept it. 

"How many paintings are there, J?" Tony asks, feeling his muzzle touching his hand to push the cup in his palm. Folding his fingers around he takes a sip. The rich warm flavor of dark coffee spreading in his mouth. He always liked this particular brand.  

"Two of them." J.A.R.V.I.S. replies, hearing clicking heels nearing before she passed him in a quick breeze. He hears her stack her papers as they ruffle between her fingers to find the important notes she always keeps close for the next meeting.   

"Sorry, I'm so late. They kept holding me up." Pepper says, the tone of her voice trying to sound happy but hearing the frustration mixed between. He holds up his hand in greeting and adjusts the sunglasses on his face, hiding his eyes between them.

"That's fine. I was asking J.A.R.V.I.S. about the paintings." Tony replies with a smile. "Is everything okay?" 

He hears Pepper hesitate for a moment. "Yes...No, the budget holders...I'm not sure how to say to you but they are losing faith in you." 

Sitting up straighter in his chair, he leans closer to the direction of her voice. His hand hovering around to find hers instead she find him first. He wants to snort. They always have a problem with him. He has never been able to satisfied them. Not that he cares but he does care about Pepper's reputation.  

"Why would they? They have you. " He points out, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "The very best." 

"That's the problem, Tony. You're the face of this company but lately you haven't show yourself except from the walk in the park a few weeks ago. I tried to hold them of you but I can't do it anymore." She notes, her voice sounding rushed and worried. A thing she only does when she's cornered. A sigh escapes from his lips. 

"Do you want me to step in?" He gives her another squeeze, his thumb rubbing the top of her warm hand. Feeling very soft. 

"Yes." She responds, returning his gesture and places her hand on top of his. "I wouldn't have asked you this but..."

Tony shakes his head, releasing her hand before he stand up with J.A.R.V.I.S. in tow. A muzzle touches his leg in protest which he silences with a pat on his head, feeling his tail wag against the side of his leg. 

"Arrange a meeting. I will be there and invite the press as well." 

* * *

Something round and warm is being pressed in his hand. Bring it up he smells the amazing smell of grilled hamburgers, layers with an old cheese, slides of tomatoes, fresh lettuce and a dot of Ketchup as finishing touch. Pepper walks him out. His hand holding her arm as his other hand wraps the hamburger with his fingers. It's easy. A trick he learned when he needed a quick snack during tinkering. He takes a bite and groans in pleasure as his eye lids flutter. Pepper laughs next to him. 

"What?" Tony asks with a full mouth, a laugh escaping from him too. He might overreacted a bit but the hamburger tastes excellent and very hard needed after the press conference he gave. An emotional but with success he aimed for. 

"Nothing. I'm just happy to see you being you." Pepper replies, her voice happy for the first time in...A long time. He takes another bite, feeling the lettuce getting stuck between his teeth but keeps stuffing his mouth full. "Would you like to join me to the new art exposition? I was meant to go there but my date canceled on the last moment."

Tony blinks a couple of times. Feeling her stiffen next to him. Sure, he knew this was about to happen. Separating their ways and getting involved in others. He accepts that. Bitter but he can't keep her for himself because he still needs time to recover from the breakup. That wouldn't be fair towards Pep. Using his tongue to get rid of the annoying piece of lettuce between his teeth he smiles at her.  

"Wait, hold on. Date?" He asks. "Who's the douchbag? Nobody cancels a date with a beautiful woman like you. That guy missed his chance. You can get better than that." 

"You canceled a couple of times." Pepper reminds him. A an uncomfortable snort escapes from his lip. He remembers each one of them. Forgetting the time or tinkering a few more minutes long which turned in days. God, how could she put up with him? But he did made up for every one of them in the end. His guilt had been the cause. 

"Yeah..I...I had actually a good reason." He returns, taking another bite of his hamburger. 

"Like?" She laughs, knowing she won. 

"Avengers business." He replies, the standard answer if he can't come up with something better to win more time. Sadly, that doesn't work on Pepper which he's fully aware but a guy can always try. 

"We started dating before you joined them." 

"Fine, but this guy better not cancel on you the next time or he will meet me."

* * *

  _Oh boy, what did he get himself into._

A blind man and his best friend who is also happens to be his ex go together to grant opening of an art exposition. Sounds pretty much like the beginning of a bad joke. Yet it isn't. No, this is his life. Why? Because he felt sorry for Pepper. She's doing by the way an excellent job describe each paint work they pass. He can almost feel them. Quite litteraly. Perhaps that has something do with the fact he wants to choke the douchebag who canceled on her. Who cancels on her? Who in the right minds? His head goes sideways in the direction of Pepper's voice. She's perfect. Every man dreams like a woman as her including him but he can't think that way. Not anymore. He had his chance. So instead of moping he wants to help her find the perfect guy who can give her what she wants. A wingman. 

"The artists of this painting has used an unusual palette and wild strokes to represent the unknown absent we search for through our whole lives." Peppers explains with much further do, her tone sounding calm and, okay he still doesn't care much about art. But he notices she appreciates him for trying and not turning her down. 

"If you ask me that guy sounds pretty much lost." Tony jokes, receiving a loud sigh from next to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't meant that. Please, continue."

"I think you will like the next one." Pepper ignores him, guiding him further with J.A.R.V.I.S. walking next to him with a leash and the harness on his back, just in case Pepper meets someone and he needs to buzz of. Not that she will do such thing but he will leave when she does. 

"Yay?" Tony replies, trying to hold down the sarcastic tone out of his voice that's really hard to do. J.A.R.V.I.S. muzzle touches the palm of his hand tugging the leash in a playful manner to warn him. Gentle he tugs back.  _Message received_. Pepper tells him about the next painting for the next five minutes, spending more time than with the others. She's sounding rather ecstatic about this one.  

"You really like this one, do you?" He asks her, the corners of his lips going upwards in a grin. 

"I...Yes, I like this one. My favorite actually." She whispers almost as it's forbidden to speak. 

"I buy it." He replies, his finger touching the top of  J.A.R.V.I.S.'s head to lead him the way. 

"Tony. No." Pepper calls behind him, making him turn around and walks backwards slowly. 

"Yes. Besides it's almost your birthday. Let me actually buy you a gift this time. Please?" He laughs, placing his hands together while pouting his bottom lip. That trick always works on her. She catches up with him, her hand holding his arm. 

"It's too expensive." She continues, but nope he not changing his mind. 

"Not a problem. J, lead me to the uh...person who sells this painting." Tony replies with a wink behind his sunglasses. He doubt she could have seen that with the blackness hiding his eyes behind them.

"That would be me." A deep voice behind him answers, making him turn around as J.A.R.V.I.S. stops. Oh, that's quick. Found the right guy or the guy could have been hovering. That would have been creepy.  

"I'm sorry for that. It's his first time visiting an art exposition." Pepper apologizes making him blink in confusion, pulling him closer to her. 

"Ah, a virgin." The man laughs and dear lord, such a bad joke.  _Ha.Ha.Ha._  Rolling his eyes he hears Pepper laugh in modesty. It's her fake one. Her real one sound rich and bubbly. Just beautiful. He joins her with a fake smile but he doesn't come further than a horrible grimace. "And who would you might be beautiful?" 

It's obvious meant for Pepper. A cheap opening line. He could come up with a thousand better one than his. Normally he would walked out but Pepper is the one keeping him here. Trapped. He coughs to draw the attention back to him. 

"I'm Tony, thanks. Hey, do you mind telling me how I can buy this painting?" He points his hand in the wrong painting for sure, moving his head closer to Pepper to whisper in her ear. "Uh, is that the right one?" 

"Let me handle this. You can go and look at the others you haven't seen yet. I will catch up with you." She tells him, letting him go as she walks past him.

Tony takes that as his que to leave. Pepper always took the care in buying paintings. A nagging feeling still wonders if this is still called buying a present as J.A.R.V.I.S. places the handle of his harness in his hand to lead him to the next painting. He continues Pepper's explanation about the other paintings. He walks along a couple, hearing the stories about them which put them in a different perspective which he wouldn't have noticed if he could see. One in particular reminds him of someone, thinking to buy her that one too but a gentle hand touches his shoulder. Pulling him away from his thoughts. 

"Hello Tony."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but I can't write as Thor and Clint. Trust me I want to add them but I don't know how to write as them. I hope the little things I have written of them are in character. 
> 
> And I have reread my previous released chapters and it surprised me how many mistakes have slipped through my eyes. I have corrected those and added some lines to make the story go more smooth. No big changes but feel free to reread and you might notice something different. A tiny difference. It won't do much for the story. 
> 
> As always enjoy (:


	7. His Heart Runs To Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's heart has a mind of his own.

"Good evening Natasha." Tony greets with a smile, turning away from Doggy J's boring talks about blobs of paint on a paper.

An excitement feeling goes through his body.  _Finally having company to make things interesting in here._  Her hand gentle touches the inside of his elbow, her warm fingers touching his sensitive skin as a soft laugh escapes from his lips. God, he sounds like a nervous teenager holding hands for the first time. He bites his lip to keep himself shut. The tips of her fingers slide further as she hooks her arm into his to join him and J.A.R.V.I.S.. They stand in silence with voices chattering around them but his ears are directed at Natasha. 

"I wonder who else except from Pepper knew I would be here?" He asks in no in particular, feeling J.A.R.V.I.S. sit down snugly against his leg.

His weight is heavy for a fake dog. He wonders the guy has been eating. Yeah, he's blabbering to himself to keep his mind from overthinking the thing between him and Natasha. He's well aware J.A.R.V.I.S. can't eat and doesn't have the desire to do so. The silence between them at least is comfortable and he bets Natasha is smiling.

A gorgeous smile which is a rare gift to receive as she does that only with people she's close. He's a hell of a lucky guy to know her. The corners of his lips curls into a smile but J.A.R.V.I.S. tugs him to move over to the next one. In protest he tugs back and feelings another tug joining on his arm, a little tug of war that come at him from both sides. Natasha's playing against him together with J.A.R.V.I.S.  _That's not fair._

"There are other people who would like to have a go." Natasha explains to him with a soft voice, her fingers gentle tickling against his sleeve to make a move. He turns his head to the other side to listen. 

"Don't tell me there is a whole line standing behind us?" He asks her, his head moving closer to her voice but stops when he bumps into her shoulder. The scent of her perfume working it's way into his nose.  _She smells beautiful._  Not to sweet and not to musky she often carries after missions. Gun power and all of that.

No, today she smells as like a fine bakery filled with fresh sweets and treats, welcoming when entering the threshold. Tony blinks his eyes. Did he just compare her to a bakery? Good thing she can't hear his thoughts. She would have a blast, literally having a blast at him for that.

"Yes, and they don't look happy." She replies with a slight amused tone, another tug of J.A.R.V.I.S. follows to bring him away from his thoughts. Sure, they could move on to the next one. The thing is he doesn't want too. He can't watch and enjoy the painting like the other people in this room but he's having a moment with her. One he doesn't want to walk away from.  _Actually scratch that._  He never walks away from her on those moments. Screw them. 

"I don't care. Do you want to move?" He shrugs his shoulders, reaching out with his hand to lay a hand on J.A.R.V.I.S. back to order him to sit back down. 

"No." Natasha answers short and okay, she wants the same as him.  _Good._  Suddenly his hearts does a bit funny in his chest, feeling himself growing hotter. He doesn't search much behind it. They must be standing underneath one of those large spotlights that suddenly reminds him of his last dream.  _Pink faded tutu. Her fiery red hair tied in a neatly bun and her green eyes gazing into his to her hand holding up to him to take._  Her fingers stroke gentle the inside on his elbow that pull him out his thoughts.   

"Let's stay. There are other paintings they can look at. But if someone does cause trouble I will just buy the painting to get rid of them." He points out, his sunglasses sliding lower from his nose he adjusts with a tiny push of his index finger. 

"You would buy a painting of a monkey with a banana hat?" She challenges him. One he gladly takes with a grin. 

"How does the hat look like?" He asks her, waving his hand towards the direction of the painting. 

"Very brighly yellow. You can't look around it." She sounds more amused before she breaks out in a laugh and he joins her. She pulls him away from the painting, following her step as J.A.R.V.I.S. matches his. He ignores the voices behind them, not understand the fuss. 

"Not the monkeys fault. But to get back to your question I would buy the monstrosity to stay with you."  

* * *

In a spur they decide to exit the art exhibition for a quick bite before Pepper notices his absence. According to Natasha she's still talking to the strange selling guy who owns the painting she loves. The night air feels cool against his face, taking in the scent of delicious food around them. Different smells but each one of them very positive and working on his appetite which makes him almost forgive them for the menu he can't read. He hears someone approaching them. His fingers turn the menu he can't read in his hands and he sits back against the chair. Natasha brought him here, one of her favorite places he didn't know she had. 

"Can you order for me? I don't know this place and this menu..." He waves. "Isn't very blind friendly."

That's another thing he's about to change next to his personal projects. Making the world more friendly for well, people like him. He holds the menu up in the air, feeling someone take the plastic sheet away from him, before the man addresses himself as Adrian who will be their waiter for tonight with an italian accent that sounds incredibly tacky to his ears.  _A fake one._  Natasha's feet nudges against his leg which he returns with his other feet with a smile. It's a warning to keep his mouth shut.

She orders for the both of them, not familiar with the dishes names or anything which is really a shame. He wonders how the place look like. In his mind he imagines tiny Italian flags with light bulb's between them to keep a romantic sphere, rows of tables filled with couples eating pizza or spaghetti with meatballs. Hard to pull off such thing in a busy street. His ears pick up conversations casually from people sitting around them or walking by. Maybe he's imagining too much. 

"What did you just order? I didn't recognized any names." Tony asks her, tilting his head sideways to pick up her voice. 

"A surprise you're going to like." She adds not helpful, making his eyes roll in the back of his skull. 

"I do not like surprises." He throws back, something cool and wet get's shoved into his palm. Folding his fingers around he takes a sniff and takes a sip. It's alcohol for a sweet tooth. He prefers more stronger liquid over it. "Also this is not going to work if you want me to spill secrets." He winks playful. 

She would probably shake her head, gazing into his eyes while taking a sip of her own drink with a red and white straw. His imagination looks a lot more obscene.  _Her red hair on her shoulders, leaning forward in a dress which does nothing to hide her breasts, keeping them in full display. Her lips painted in red, licking them with her tongue to chase the tiny drops escaped from the straw. O dear._  His fingers grips the table as tiny Tony who's  _not tiny_  stirs in interested in his pants and quickly crosses his legs in discomfort. 

"Did you say something?" He asks her casual with a cough, his smile turning into grimace. 

His imagination takes a step further as  _she climbs over the table to take a hold of his tie and pull shim closer. Her lips collide with his in a rough kiss, moaning in her mouth as her other hand finds the bulge in his pants. She makes quick work with her fingers to free him, shielding him from the other people around them. Not noticing the scene happening between them. She straddles herself on his lap and he finds no underwear. His index finger finds her clit, rubbing his finger up and down on her sensitive spot. She practically melts in his arms as her hand strokes his cock._

"Tony." She calls him, her hands takes a hold of his, laying on top and he pops back into reality. He feels the heat burn on his face, spreading through out his whole body. For a moment he feels bewildered before he remembers were they are.  _God, what's wrong with him._  She took him out for a bite. Nothing else. He curses his imagination, his heart beat faster. 

"Yes?" He replies innocent, moving his head closer to her voice. 

"Relax." Her fingers gentle rub his hand, and that's not a good idea. The heat keeps burning between his tights. He shifts in his seat. 

"I am!" He laughs and ouch, that sounded too high even in his own ears. Not very convincing sadly. "I mean, I'm relaxed. See?" He leans back against the chair, hearing the waiter coming to his rescue as he places the plates with food down. Never in his life he has been so awkward. A laugh escapes from his lips. Actually that's not exactly true. The other person he was awkward with was Pepper and,  _oh dear god. He's in love with Natasha_. His best friend which is a bad combo on itself, suddenly very aware of the fact his crush on her never left but matured into something bigger. There is no way she didn't notice it.

_He's screwed._

* * *

Pepper finds them shorty afterwards and joined them as Natasha orders a plate for her too. Tony listens to their conversations about something important but he can't keep his mind straight, wandering back to his imagination with Natasha straddled on his lap.  _Her green eyes gazing into his, biting on his lip._  He bites himself on his lip in frustration. It's beautiful and very tempting to make his imagination a reality and yet, not very good if he wants to keep his friendship with Natasha.

He sits up in his chair, taking a bite in his supposedly to be shrimp to distracts himself, not exactly sure whats he's tasting. Chicken? Turkey? Pork? Not fishy that's for sure. J.A.R.V.I.S.'s muzzle touches the side of his leg. He pats the top of his head, holding up a shrimp for him to take.  _A new development._ Brieflyhe wonders were the poor shrimp ends up too. J.A.R.V.I.S. doesn't have a digestion system like normal dogs have. He feeds him another one for the shake of science.  

"Have your parents never taught you it's rude to feed your dog at the table?" Pepper's voice sounds irritated. He feels caught as a child picking a candy before dinner time which for the record didn't happen often in his childhood.  

"Well, I didn't have a dog so no they did not." Tony answers, not mentioning the fact his parents were barely around to see him grow up or anything else in that area. "But J.A.R.V.I.S. is not just a dog. He's my guidance and this is his well earned lunch break." He points out. "Also I think you have insulted him." Giving J.A.R.V.I.S secretly another shrimp, hidden between his fingers while giving him a pet on his muzzle.  

"I'm not going to apologize to your dog, Tony." Pepper ignores him, hearing the silvery scratch the porcelain plate. Un unpleasant noise she doesn't on purpose he reminds himself and takes a sip of his drink, another sweet one. The umbrella sticks against his nose, noticing he hasn't heard Natasha's voice the last few minutes.

"Suit yourself." He shrugs while pretending to look from left to right before lowering his sunglasses. "Is Natasha still with us?" 

A gentle hand touches the frame of his glasses, batting his fingers away as another pair of fingers adjusts the glasses back on his nose. "I had to go the bedroom to powder my nose." Her voice sounds light, her warm breath tickling in some place on his face as his nose picks up indeed a soapy smelling from her hands, gazing his cheeks.  _He wants to lean against them._  The images return into his mind but he shakes them off on time. He doesn't want to go there.  _Well,_  perhaps _later tonight when he's alone in bed but now no sir._  

"Great, I was thinking to skip the rest and go straight to the desert? I heard from the couple a few tables to the left they have fireworks in them." 

* * *

 _It's only two meters from the ground._ _That's nothing as most people would say. An average people can become two meters long if they are lucky enough._

The corners of his lips curl into a large grin. His suits detects Rhodey with a soft beep in his left ear. He flies further across until another beep in both ears indicate he's approaching a wall and will bump into it if he doesn't change his course. He takes a left before landing on the ground. The upper parts of his helmet lifts up from his face. His suit could use some more delicate refining but in overall he's happy with the results. No bruises today and this is a good distraction to keep his mind away from Natasha, at least for a little while. 

"How are you feeling, Tony?" Rhodey laughs to hide the concern in his voice, hearing his boots shutting down to land next to his side as his suit gives him a warmth pulse on his shoulder to feel his hand on his left. "Are you ready to take the sky?" 

"I got still some work to do." Tony replies in honesty, feeling the breath Rhodey must have held against his face as he pulls him closer against him in a hug, rather a tight one. He folds his other arm hand around him. "Are you okay?" 

"I got a new mission, Tony." He breaks to him, feeling himself grow cold in his suit. This is not an ordinary mission Rhodey does between being an Avenger. Nothing dangerous until now. Perhaps he could send a suit in his place without him being physical being in it, controlled from a distance. That should do the trick. The only thing that remains is to convince Rhodey which shouldn't be hard. He's familiar with them.  

"That's nothing new. You go on missions all the time." Tony comments after a stretched out reply, feeling Rhodey growing stiff in his hold. Okay, not easy to convince him which 1. Makes him more curious what the hell is going on and 2. He's worried. Yeah, worried with capital W. 

"It's from Fury." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last another chapter and I'm sorry that I left you all waiting! 
> 
> I'm still struggling with my writers block which doesn't want to leave. (I keep fighting against it). I hope you all still enjoy my story and thank you so much again for the kudos, sweet comments and bookmarks. 
> 
> They really give me a smile and keep me motivated! (:


	8. Iron And Rescue At Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper joins Tony on a mission (not that he has much of a choice).

_None of this bullshit is Rodney's fault. It's absolutely ridiculous._

Tony tried to get a hold of Fury but the son of a bitch hides himself and there is no way he can find him, not even on the smallest place on earth. He never knew Fury would be such a coward. With his hand he wipes his workspace clean from his projects, each object clattering loudly on the ground. Some breaking while others bounce or roll away from him. He doesn't care. They can be repaired if necessary unlike his eyes. But he has found the solution in his new suit after months of adjusting and testing the suit ready for it's first flight. 

_This is far from over._

* * *

 "You won't change my mind Pepper. And don't look at me like that. You know I hate that when you make that face." Tony points to his own face, waving his finger across the features of his own for the lack not knowing were she's actually standing. Her footsteps don't make much noise as they used to and takes her silence as a bad sign. Pepper never gives on proving him wrong. He sighs, rubbing an hand over his eyes. 

"I don't need my eyes to see what you're thinking. We lived and breathed each other for years. I know you, Pep. But do you..." He reaches out with his hand for J.A.R.V.I.S.'s handle and makes the sign which is a mild shake with his hand which means  _Search Pepper_. Her hand touches his chest, fingers unfolding on the place his reactor used to be. Sometimes he still feels the stuffiness. Her index finger rubs the fabric of his shirt. 

"Do you trust me enough to let me go after them?" He asks her, smile to her in a way that's supposed to reassure her. 

"No." Pepper harshly answers, her voice wavering softly as her rubbing stops. His face drops for a moment, lining up his mind in  _pepperation_ , not preparation to convince her. 

"Okay, you're hard to bargain with." He laughs. "I love that by the way. Always had. One of my favorite things of you." 

"Flattery won't help you, Tony." She chuckles, her hand leaves his chest. 

"You're free to join me. I mean, you won't stop me from going after them as much you hate it." He replies without his usual joking nature, no laughs, no more playing around. He can't afford to lose more time. They will walk into a trap if he doesn't show up. He won't forgive himself if anything happens to them. Sure, he's no longer a member of Fury's boy band and the man himself doesn't pick up the phone so this is really the only way.  _Show up on sight._

"Your suit ready to go."

Her hand takes his folded out arm he holds out to her. "Where is it?" 

* * *

The snow crunches underneath his boot, hearing the wind blow wildly around them with it's cold temperature. Thank goodness he added both heat warmers in his and her suits. Without them they would make a lovely pair of snowman. He opens the upper part of his helmet. The cold touches him immediately which he expected but its a welcoming source of air which is much needed if he wants to be there before the action starts. He has no idea what's out there and with Pepper on his side he doesn't want take any risks to walk into a trap. His suit signals her standing next to him with J.A.R.V.I.S. on his right.

He brought J.A.R.V.I.S. as back up in an extra suit to convince himself he doesn't need  _them_. Sure, he will misses them more than he will ever admit. There won't any of them dropping to ask him to make suit or weapon improvements. No more pranks or breakfast with the whole team. His breath stutters for a moment. He knew this particular day would come. That day he wouldn't be good enough anymore. He takes another step forward. There is no reason to keep him. He would be a liability to them except he doesn't believe that himself and hell, he's sure not ready to give up. Perhaps he could start his own band with Pepper, Rhodey and Happy. He snorts.  _The Iron Avengers._  

"How's the scenery?" Tony asks to get his mind back at work, testing the density of the snow with his boots. It's perfect for skiing but bad news if somebody would follow them, leaving easily tracks behind to follow them. Going back up in the air isn't an option either. It makes them too vulnerable without the cover of the trees. 

"Amazing if you don't look at the three spooky buildings below us." Pepper answers with a muffled sound, walking next to him judging from the crunching sound her boots make with each step. He stops.  _That's not right. There were two on the map._  He felt them and F.R.I.D.A.Y. did a double check to confirm. His body turns to his left in the direction of her voice.

"How many are there? According to the records there should be two of them." Tony asks again to make sure he heard her right and not imagining things because of the cold weather. He can't feel his cheek or nose and shuts down the upper part to shield his face. 

"They must be either old or wrong. There are three of them." She points out, taking his hand and points in the direction of each building, moving his arm each time a bit as he nods. The one of the right must have been placed recently. She releases her arm as he takes another step in the direction of the buildings. 

"How does the third one look? Is there a new roof? Or new walls or anything like that." He continues to question, hearing a soft sound buzzing in his ear which means F.R.I.D.A.Y. completed the scan. There's nothing ordinary to the old buildings she tells him on a low volume so he can still hear Pepper. 

"It looks newer than the other two." She answers with a curious tone. He wonders briefly if they should return now they can but  that goes against the feeling when Pepper adds another detail he was looking for but can't see. "Somebody must have build that one not long ago. It's identical but doesn't look worn out like the other two. Do you want to take a closer look?"

He shakes his head. "On it. J.A.R.V.I.S. is on sight and F.R.I.D.A.Y. has found something unusual in our mysterious building. No sign of life though." 

"That's a good thing?" She rejoins him on his left side while J.A.R.V.I.S. gives them both the signal he follows up without a doubt. His own suit keeps scanning the area for any traps underneath the snow with each step, taking the lead with her behind him. He rather wants to get hit first then her. 

"Make it a little bit more easier." He replies with a soft voice, hearing the wind picking up as he cranking up the volume of Pepper's voice. 

"Why don't we call your friends? They must know more than us." She says with a worried voice, taking his arm to stop him. He shakes his head, a bitter laugh escaping from his lips but doesn't turn his head towards her, keeping his head straight on his goal. 

"I can't apparently because they threw me out." He breaths out with another laugh, pain flaring in his heart. 

"What? Since when?" She turns his body full to her, her voice sounding shocked with he doesn't blame her. He should have told her before leaving. Sadly he didn't. Stupid afterwards but she will understand eventually. 

"Doesn't matter, okay? I just...I want to know what the hell is going on here before they get here." He wriggles himself loose from her hold gently to walk away from talking further about it but Pepper doesn't give him the chance. 

"I can't believe you. You're doing this because you want to prove yourself to them, do you? That you can still be the Iron Man without your eyes. You can't, Tony. It a miracle you're still alive." She shouts to him, standing right back in front of him to block his path. He bites his lip in frustration. 

"No. No, do not play that game with me, Pepper. I don't do this for myself to prove them wrong. The threat is very much real. I showed you that before we left and because of your shouting. There is no way they can't have heard us." He points out with a rushed voice, scanning again but still no movement which he doesn't like at all. _This is too weird._

"You should have passed on the information on them to make them deal with it." She shout again, feeling his anger boil inside his veins spreading around through out his body to build up, waiting for him to snap.  

"How? When I can't god damn reach them? Tell me?" Tony shouts back, not holding back now he doesn't give a damn if a bad guys shows up. They would actually save him. "Nobody took the effort to tell me why I have been throw out. Not Fury. Not Natasha. Not Bruce. Not Thor. And not even Captain America goody two shoes gave a fuck about me to tell me the bad news. I would have accepted if they did tell me in person. It would have been hard but hell, I would have given a hell of a good goodbye party." 

He's panting loudly, closing his eyes while trying to catch his breath. "Honestly I'm glad that I'm out. Working in a team really sucks." He takes a few steps forwards. "Except from you if you were wondering."  

The suit detects her arms folding around him, pulling him into a hug but it feels again to stuffy for his liking. Opening the upper part of his helmet to let the freezing air flowing into his suit. _He didn't mean it._ Teamwork gave him a family and a home. That's why it hurts so much.  _God, he's going to miss them._  His own arms circle around her to return the hug, feeling a bit clunky. Hugging in a suit never works. His lips curl into a grin. 

"Let's get to work, Tony." 

* * *

The information checked out to be interesting.

There's definitely weird stuff going on in the newest building. He and Pepper have been checking out the first and second one but those were left behind with a thick layer of dust and old furniture that somehow has become stylish again. Hipster would kill for those chairs and tables as he noticed Pepper's reaction.  _A tiny gasp of awe._ He barely could pull her out to check out the last one. The third building had a fine layer of security with a technology he never has encountered before and proved a little challenge while Pepper kept on the look out. In total the whole scene took an embarrassing five minutes, longer than he liked but still no bad guys. 

He waits for her to join at his side, wondering why they never bothered to take a slight together in the suits when...He sighs. When they were together. She had looked shocked when he showed the suit he specially made for her. Gentle her hands touched the suit for a moment, capturing her attention before she stepped away to tell him she wasn't interested. He wonders what changed her mind and denies knowing the answer damn well. His suits detects her approaching and turns himself towards her. 

"What do you find? More furniture?" Tony asks with a laugh, holding up his own findings up in his hand with the help of F.R.I.D.A.Y. An encrypted USB but this beauty will give him anything he will need to know once open. 

"No, but I did found an old file in a language I can't read. There's a picture of a person on it I recognize but I can't place him." 

"How does he look?" He's curious himself now. If Pepper can't place a person that mostly bad news in his experience.  

"Brown hair, green eyes and smiling. He has an American military uniform on." She continues, hearing the papers ruffle in her hands as she flips through them. "There are medical papers in them as well. Do you think they have been experimenting on people in here?"

"Possibly or that's the guy we are looking for. Can you check...." His sentence gets cut off by a loud bang on the other side of the building, hearing footsteps nearing them.  _Shit. So much for not getting caught_  His hand finds one of Peppers hands by miracle in one go, placing her behind him with the help of his suit to shield her. "Go to J.A.R.V.I.S. I will be right behind you." 

"And leave you alone here?" She hisses. His suit detects five heat sources, each burning on his left fingers. He doesn't answer her question mainly because he's getting ready to fight. His gauntlets start to activate along with the rockets hidden within his suit. "No, not without you." She whispers in his ear in sadness. 

"I heard that one before. That ended smoothy without a hitch so this will too." Tony tries to convince her,  taking a step away but Pepper doesn't leave wriggle room between them.  _She's frightened._  He needs to calm her down, though there is no room for that. "Pepper, please." 

"No."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: originally the story was supposed to stop here but things got a bit out of hand. I had no idea this story would bring me so much joy and I keep getting idea's for this story which makes me unable to stop haha.
> 
> I hope you all still enjoy my story as much I do and I promise the next chapter will come out faster. I'm just struggling to decide which events I want to happen in which chapter as a new character is on his/her way. You may can guess who. 
> 
> As always thank you for the support, kudos and favorites :)


	9. Only But Bad Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some truths come out while others stay hidden.

Before Tony can speak out another word to Pepper, she manages to bring them both down on the ground with aloud bang which must have been heard by the bad guys. It's impossible they didn't hear the commotion unless they have bad hearing but that sounds stupid even to his own ears. 

His heart begins to pulls in his chest as his breath feel shortening and no, no, no he doesn't want to go there. Instead he should be focusing how to get out of this mess. _Both Unharmed. Mostly Pepper._ He's fine being hit but Pepper? No, he wouldn't forgive himself if something happens to her.

He takes a breath as a gentle alarm goes off in his left ear that pulls him out, beeping to indicate how many have surrounded them. He doesn't hear it. "Repeat." This time the beeping goes slower, one by one for him to keep up. Six of them with one on the far left near them. _He can do this._

"Pep, I need you to fly away as fast as you can when I attack." 

"I'm not leaving you." 

He shakes his head in frustration. "You're not leaving me. I'm buying us time."

"No."

"We can't stay here." 

Another sound comes from the around left, no across them as they begin the move and heading their way. Voices he can't hear but yet sound familiar followed by foot steps. Rushed footsteps to be exact. With the help of his suit he pulls her up to her own feet. "I will be fine. Just go." 

Her hand has a tight grip on his. "We talked about this. I'm not leaving you, Tony!" 

"I don't remember agreeing in you staying with me." He hisses, trying to break free but it's useless. Once Pepper get's a hold she doesn't let go. "You need to go now you can. I will be fine." 

He hears another no. Louder and demanding from her lips, repeating with a bitter taste to it. Her final word.  _This not about trust but about something else. It has been a while he heard it but doesn't mistake it._ His own hand turns around to hold hers. A bit awkward but the only way he can currently manage with enemies approving alarming fast. He could do this two ways. One the harsh way or the second option that's gentle. "Why don't you want to leave?" 

Her hand slides lower to hold his. "Because the last time I let you go you got blind, Tony." 

He feels punched in his gut. _Bad move_. He should have gone the first one, yet he can't find any reason to be angry at her. He shakes his head. _God, he should have known._ "No." He calls out. "No, what happened that day none was your fault, Pep. It was my choice and mine only. I was the one who got reckless to think I had him corned, not thinking with the possibility he would throw that liquid in my face which would make me blind. You want to know the first thing that went through my head when I was down?" 

"You're going to tell me anyway even if I say no." A hint of smile makes it through her voice. 

The corners of his lips curl into a smile. "It could wait till we you know take them out." 

"We both know you're not going to do that."

He misses her seeing her red lips smile, eyes lighting up in the sun with happiness. _She's right._ "It was you. All I could think of. That I had to bring you into safety." 

She placed her other hand on top of his. "That's what I'm feeling now. That same fear. I do trust you, Tony. But I can't leave you on your own." 

He sighs, giving a pinch in her other hand. "Do you know how to shoot?" 

"I practiced."

_O boy. The last time he saw her aim well, it was not a thing of beauty to be proud off._

* * *

He's the one to take the first and last shot only to he realized made a huge mistake. His suit recognized the familiar body signals on the last moment by focusing on the wrong person, the one who's signatures matching the man in the files according both Pepper and F.R.I.D.A.Y

Thank-goodness he didn't hit anyone. His suit manages to reverse the attack, hitting himself in the progress on his left leg and ouch, it hurts like a son of a bitch. Slowly making his way down on the ground, placing his right feet on the ground first but he cries out in pain when placing his left down.

Good thing Pepper is fast on his side, holding his left side to lean on or he would be face down on the ground. Opening the upper part of his helmet open, the cold air attacks him straight away and closes his eyes to shield them. 

A demanding pair of loud boot steps echoes in the room. "Did you think you could prance around as if nothing happened, Stark?" 

Despite the cold Tony lift up his head with a grimace. "You're the one who started."

A miserable chuckle escapes from his lips, hearing no-one laugh with him. _Fine_. He can do that too. 

"I tried to reach any of you but nobody answered. Nobody picked up any of your damn phones I have given you. They work perfectly fine so don't come up with any excuses." He limps a few steps further. "I do for a fact have an excuse to be here and yes, I do come up to help out even if you have thrown of me out the Avengers without a notice. By the way you won't get rid of me that easy which is another point I will get too after we sort out the kind of trap you just walked into." 

His nose picking up the smell of gunpowder and something musky, sensing Nick standing closer to him wearing a smug grin on that face of his he guess. "I don't have to send you a notice because you're still an Avenger. Being blind doesn't mean you're out. It takes more then to lose your sight."

"I'm sorry what?" Tony rises one of his eyebrows, standing up straighter while leaning more against Pepper when the pain worsens more in his left leg. Another pair of hands takes his right arm, feeling suddenly unbalanced by the height difference between them.

One sniff in the person their direction a the faint smell of pancakes welcomes him. It's  _Cap_. His right hand gives him a short pat in greeting, tilting his head back towards Nick with a sense of hope mixed with relief blooming in his chest.

"You're still in the team, you dumbass. I didn't call you because you need more time to get things straight." Nick sighs. "I hope it was worth the pain from shooting yourself." He hears Nick's leather coat ruffling, boots following shorty. Stupid enough, he wants to nod but a nagging feeling scratches his head, remembering the reason he took the risk together with Pepper to walk into the trap themselves. 

"Quick question. Why is there one person to many in this room?" He feels Cap stiffen next to him for a second. Could be the pain mixed with tiredness? He does feel himself slipping from his stance often. "I might be blind but that doesn't mean I don't see. Also he looks quite familiar?"

He feels Cap turn underneath his arm. "How do you know Bucky?"

"Hold on. I never said Bucky and who calls in the sanity calls his kid Bucky?" He throws back to get Cap out of his skin, hearing another sound in the distance. His suit gives the same reading as before but with more information including a last name. Barnes.

 _He has heard that name before...._ O god, so that's why Cap tensed up. Disappointing he feels his arm drop down his side along causing his balance fall against fully against Pepper. She manages to keep them both straight.

"Don't mess in things you don't understand, Tony." Steve speaks in a loud tense volume that almost makes his ears hurt. He knows very well not to mess in something personal. He wouldn't appreciate it either if Cap would did the same to him.

But there's something strange about the whole thing peaking his interest. _One_. How the hell did Barnes survive that fall and _two_. How can he be still young like Cap? Hydra must have be able to replicate the serum. Only one way to find out. 

Slowly he lifts some of his balance away from Pepper with the help of his suit. "What's so special about this guy that's getting you so worked up? From what I could read Hydra tried to make Captain America V2. I'm not sure if they succeeded because J.A.R.V.I.S. and F.R.I.D.A.Y. are working on it." 

"Working on what?" Steve questions him, hearing him turn back towards him with a freezing breeze slicing in his face. A tad dramatic? Maybe but this is not going as he was hoping. After all this time working together he would have expected to be one of the persons Cap would trust. For him he was. His lips grimaces into a pained smile. 

"Both of you cut it out." Pepper calls on them, leaving him to stand on his own device and manages to keep his balance just right with a few painful steps to the side. "Before we headed down here we found in the other building a file, containing a picture of an America soldier and an USB Stick." 

He rolls his eyes. Great, he has no leverage if he had no other choice to get the truth come out.  "Pepper as CEO of Stark Industries you should better than to show your cards on the first move." She ignores him by showing the papers, hearing them ruffle. He folds his arms together around his torso, trying to keep the warmth inside his suit as he feels his only good leg getting tired. 

"Do you need help?" Bruce asks him, touching his suit on the left side to let him know his presence. He nods in reply not finding the energy to keep himself going. If Cap doesn't want to share with him that's his problem. He will find it out on his own. "Maybe we should head back to the Quinjet so I can take a look at your leg. It looks really bad, Tony."  

It's a distraction he knows. Bruce is trying to create space between him and Cap to calm down from whatever is going on. He hops on his leg, following Bruce guidance as he tries to hear the voices in the distance but he's out of reach. Just his luck.

"Couldn't you change into your big guy for a quick moment? This is taking forever to get there. No offense but I don't think you have the strength to lift me." 

Bruce chuckles amused, causing the corners of his own lips into a smile. "Is that a challenge?" 

Pretending to think he tilts his head to his direction, shrugging his shoulders.

"Maybe? I don't know. Would you take it?"

* * *

"From all the positions you could choose you picked this one. Really? I secretly didn't marry you when you lifted me up did we?"

He feels slightly more balanced in Bruce his arms who does a magnificent job keeping him in the air. What's not so great his feet occasionally bumps into a wall, jostling his injured leg with Bruce apologizing _every single time_. He doesn't want to know what they both look like. "If we did I'm the man in this marriage." 

"I'm pretty sure in not any culture you can get married when you lift someone up, Tony." Bruce laughs softly, crossing his own hand on his chest instead waving them around to open doors for him to enter. "On your left is a doorknob." 

Tony reaches out with his hand, feeling with his fingers around along the wall before he finds it. "It should be. You're carrying me in bridal style and all of that."

"You caught me. I wanted to seduce you." Bruce walks further into whatever room they are now without any furniture as his feet do not bump into things anymore or Bruce got finally the hang of how to dodge with him. "We are almost in our honeymoon suit." 

"With a view on the beach, honey?" Tony wiggles his eyebrows, hearing other people walk around them and feeling it's getting warmer as Bruce walks further, showing no sigs of exhaustion or anything like that. His arms hold him up firmly. Maybe he can use some of the strength of the Hulk while being himself? He pokes his forearm. Yeah, definitely more pumped up. 

"Sorry but those were all booked. I did got us a lovely view on the forest." Bruce points out to describe the scenery around them while placing him down on something soft, feeling the surface lowering with his weight before Bruce leaves him, not far guessing by the noise he makes. His nose picks up the familiar smell of antiseptic around him while Bruce picks up his gear. "Just so you know. We didn't want to leave you out today's mission." 

A sigh escapes from his lips. "Yet you all did the opposite."

"It has to do with something involving from your past, Tony. Something that will change you forever." Bruce's voice sounds closer, his suit warming up on his leg to sense Bruce fingers touching him. He gives the suit a silent command to open up, hearing tiny clicks unlocking and strip down to his three piece suit. It comes to him he doesn't know the color. 

"That bad, huh? It must be something huge I bet." He licks his lips, sitting more comfortable against the pillows behind his back and hears a snipping sound as Bruce cuts open the fabric of his ruined pants with scissors. 

"It's not my story to tell but Steve's. Give him time okay? It's still fresh." Bruce's fingers touch his wound with a fluffy cotton, making him cry out in pain in a high pinched not manly sound. He pushes himself further down in laying position to be more comfortable. "You okay? If you're worried somebody heard you this room is silent proved."

He lifts his head from the pillow. "I know because I design them. Also not a word to anyone." 

Bruce's fingers move further above while touching the skin next to his painful wound. He drops his head back on the pillow in annoyance. "Only if you let J.A.R.V.I.S and F.R.I.D.A.Y. stop looking through those files you found." 

Opening his mouth to answer _no I won't_ would be unnecessary. Bruce would never ask him that particular question unless there's something very serious going on. Perhaps his old man has something to do with it. The only link he can connect between him, Cap, that Barnes guy and Hydra. His stomach begins the feel weird, sweat shaping underneath his arms and manages to bring up a fake smile. "Are you black mailing me? The Bruce Banner is actually black mailing me."

Bruce straightens his leg carefully, placing a weird light cold object on his wound with a sigh. "No, I'm not black mailing you. I'm asking you to stop because I know how you will respond when you find out." Something else goes tight goes over the wound, a strap which presses on top as he grits his teeth and clenches his eyes shut against the pain.. "Just trust Steve, okay? He will tell you the complete story."

Breathing heavily through his nose he gulps in air to keep himself from crying out. "He better hurry up before I change my mind." 

He won't stop J.A.R.V.I.S. and F.R.I.D.A.Y. searching for what's on the USB Stick and Bruce knows it. Sure, he can choose not look until Cap has done his story within a reasonable time. Two week max. 

For a moment Bruce gives him a break by checking his other leg for any wounds, fingers probing and poking his skin and bone. "I thought your suit would be able to detect our body signals?" 

He nods while climbing up from the bed to sit. "Normally yes but the cold and ice freezing onto my suit caused the sensors being unable to sense until it was too late." He points out, touching his gauntlet to scratch away the ice from the surface and feels around the sensor points. "This suit isn't build for extreme cold weather. I'm working on one that does." 

"You should have started on that one." Natasha comments from he doesn't know where, not either he didn't hear her entering the room. Her heels clicking on the floor with each step she takes until her hand touches his shoulder, keeping her warmth there on his sweating skin. Her fingers rub him gentle, around his shoulder and on the back of his neck. His hair grew out longer again, feeling her fingers playing with the curl in the nape of his neck. 

"Should have but couldn't." He smiles up in her direction. "Besides it just a little ouchy. You could try to kiss it better?" 

She gives him a pat on the shoulder, her breath ghosting over her fast and a pair of soft lips leaving a kiss on his cheek. "All better now?" 

The corners of his lips turn up into a huge grin. "Wrong place but yeah, all better now." 

Her fingers leave his shoulders but he manages catch them between his fingers, curling them around he thinks it's her wrist. Closing his eyes he feels around, realizing he always manages to catch the same place with her.

The bed underneath him dips lower under his and now her combined weight, feeling her leg brush against his good one. Turning his head in her direction he lays back down, sliding his hand up along the inside of her wrist before taking her hand fully in his. "Please don't leave." 

"I have nowhere else to be." 

* * *

The sounds of ruffling papers wake him up as a sudden very familiar feeling comes up when he woke up blind for the first time. Just the same he turns his head towards the sound, hearing another ruffle until it stops and gets replaced by scraping sound of a chair across the ground. A sigh flies across the room, followed by a gentle touch on his hand.

He and Cap have never been ones to hold hands with each other. On a good day they manage to get through the same door. This however is taking a whole new level. Normally he would be able to read his emotions on the features on his face but that's out of the window with his blindness.

Tony can feel the hesitation on the top of his his hand, fingers tips ghosting over each other. It reminds him when he was a teenager and to scared to screw things up by holding his crush hand. (He didn't).

Whatever the news Cap holds back he's being very shy about it. He shifts in his bed without moving his injured leg. Could be bad news for what he knows but he tries not to hard to think about. There's a possibility something positive can come out of it which could make their relationship stronger. Talking about relationships. "Where's Natasha? I thought she would stay. We had kind of a moment." 

A snort escapes from Steve's lips. "Those happen a lot between the both of you lately."

Rising his eyebrow he smiles in surprise. He did think Cap would be the last person to catch on. Surprise he's the first one to notice. "You noticed?"

He expects Steve to nod so he feels around to find his knees, fingers touching the soft blanket around until stumbling onto something knee like and gives a soft pat while pointing with his free hand to his eyes like _I can't see you nodding remember?_ Apparently Cap takes that as invite to take a hold of his hand in a strong hold. Oh, gloves are off and he's quite warm. Almost sweaty he dares to think. 

"Yeah, kind of hard not too. She wanted to stay but Fury called her for an errand." Cap says in a almost whispering voice, giving another pinch and turns around his hand on the side for a better hold that's indeed better and less straining. 

He pinches back with his hand, feeling Cap's hand finally getting looser. "I hope not the kind she stays away from a few months?" 

"No, but she asked me to watch you in case you would wake up before she comes back." 

He shakes his head. "Quite confident and I'm guess that's not the only reason she left you here with me." He feels Caps grip getting tighter on his hand. "A big green bird told me you wanted to tell me something huge that could change my mind on everything."

"A big green bird?"

Tony can't help himself but to laugh. "Actually purple. His shirt was purple the last time my eyes still worked." 

"You mean Bruce?" Cap asks him with a tone that sounds very confused but he's not sure. It's hard to tell without seeing or his suit he doesn't know where it is. Knowing Fury it's waiting in safe keeping only the both of them can enter. He can Cap ask about it later. A soft scrape with his chair, Cap seems to place himself closer to the bed.

There's something off he can't put his finger on. The pauses between their talks are long while cap can easily normally follow him, not to mention the weird vibe that's going on and the sounds he's picking up now and then. 

"Who else in our team wears purple?" He asks distractedly with his head turning to the other side, holding Cap's hand almost automatically tighten. As kid he loved the man and to this day he still does, feeling safe enough to be around him without armor but lately he has a few doubt with all the tip toeing around him. There's another person with them. Seeming Cap finally catches him on. 

"Clint." 

Tony shakes his head again. Still trying to play the game. He doesn't blame him. "In their own free time, I mean. When we first met Bruce wore a purple shirt too. His favorite I have been told."

Cap shifts in his chair, feeling the muscles work in his arm and hand with his movement. 

"I don't pay much attention to someone's clothing." 

That's the best thing he can come up with? He won't let him go so easy. His lips curl into a grin. "You imagine us naked?" With his free hand Tony places his hand for his crouch, pretending to hide from him. "Not that you can't find anything on the internet. Plenty of naked me. Ask J.A.R.V.I.S. for directions."

A loud cough and Steve's hand burning in his, feeling all clammy and slowly his grip loosens in a way he could slip away in shame. Not that he will let that happen by holding him tighter to show him it's okay. _Just a joke Steve. Christ._ When he hears another sound from the other side of the room Cap must know he can't possibly could have missed. 

"You know, it's rude not to introduce me to your friend standing over there." 

* * *

 Tony can tell from the unhealthy temperature that Barnes, no Bucky has a prosthetic hand in a similar material as Cap's shield. His own fingers feel the tiny grooves, sharp edges and the shifting underneath them when he presses a little bit on the cold surface.

He has never seen anything likewise, doesn't seem to wear his old man's signature either thank goodness as he feels a tiny bit more relieved. His fingers find his cold ones, shaking his hand shortly and releases it. 

"Nice arm from what I can feel while I tried to find your hand. Sorry about that." He smiles with a fake apology, pointing in the direction of his arm, "Did you made it yourself?" 

An awkward silence falls over them until Barnes answers with a short _no_. He has to bite his lips shut not to ask if Hydra did. It's not like he knows the guy like Cap. He sits straighter up against the pillows, wondering shortly if both left but he picks up both their breathing sounds close by.

"Did you know my father? He didn't mentioned you once unlike Aunty Peggy however. She couldn't stop talking about your and Steve's adventures."

"Yes, I did know him." Barnes replies with a soft voice. "Not long but he was a great man. Always willing to help us out."

Tony rolls his eyes in annoyance, not wiling to listen to the same old song about his old man. He knows Barnes means well but he has enough of hearing those. "I don't understand one thing. What has this to do with my past? Till now it's not really shocking." 

"I thought getting to learn Bucky would bring the news more gentle." Steve states, hearing the hesitation back in his voice. He folds his arms together, laying them on his stomach to rest. 

"Just rip the band aid in one go, Cap." Tony nudges, waving his hand in a hurry up sign please. He feels a headache coming up, pinching the bride of his nose to release the pressure from it. Should have asked those pain relieving meds when he had the chance. 

"Your parents didn't die in a car crash, Tony." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!!!  
> A brand new chapter! This time longer as a Christmas gift for you all for the support, comments and the kudos! They make me very very happy! I know I'm slow but I haven't give up on this story and I won't so don't worry about it ;) I'm just a bit busy.
> 
> I have received a few times the question when is it going to happen? The answer is that I decided to go with a slow burn instead of a whop it's done. I can promise you it's going to be very sweet (and hot). Also I learned that I can't write as Nick Fury either.
> 
> I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a very good 2018!  
> 


	10. Beaten, Broken And Shattered Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All he can think is about the many ways how to punch Rogers in his perfect white teeth and anywhere else he can reach.

"Play it again."

His breathing is labored, air going in and out in a rapid movements he can't control. It hurts too much. He tries to stop it but god nothing works at all. His eyes burn with a pain he hasn't felt in a long time. He just can't believe what he's hearing. _This can't be true_. Please. 

 **"Play. It. Again!"** Tony shouts louder, hearing Steve talking nonsense to calm him down but he pushes himself more back against the bed.

He opens his mouth to breath easier but nothing is coming in. Suddenly a pair of two arms closer around him, pulling him close against a warm strong body belonging to the man who betrayed him. He tries to push himself away with his hands but there is no strength in them, sliding them down along with his tears on his cheeks. 

"He killed my mom." He manages to say in the next breath, not being able to move at all and hating how vulnerable he feels. A hand on his back moves gentle in circles while the other keeps still on the back of his neck. He's trapped. "Did you know?" 

He doesn't get an answer but the movements on his back stop. "Did you know, Steve?" 

"I knew it was Bucky only a few hours before you knew, Tony." He answers with a low tone, pulling Tony closer he doesn't want at all. His left hand clenches in a fist. "He's my friend, Tony."

He manages to create some space between them, feeling Steve's breath on his face. If he still had his sight he would be looking him straight in the eye.

"So was I."

* * *

His heart hurts badly, breaking the healing parts that once were damaged before by the lost of his real family. God, how stupid to think he had found another one. Sure, they never could get along fine but which family doesn't. There's no thing as a perfect family. He closes his eyes, staring at he doesn't know what. A white wall maybe. Hospitals don't do happy colors.

He never has heard Steve so silent, with clock ticking away the minutes he guess twenty minutes has gone by and he's still refusing to let him go. His left arm feels numb, pain flaring up in his wrist he feels around with his other hand. 

"No. You're still my friend, Tony." Steve breaks the silent, sounding much broken as himself and shakes his head against his shoulder. "It wasn't Bucky." 

His breath stutters. He knew Steve would pick sides with the guy who murdered his parents. "He was the one who pulled the trigger and had his hand around my mother's neck to choke the life out of her." 

"It wasn't him! He...They brainwashed him. It's not his fault." Steve keeps defending him to his anger. He doesn't want a hear another word from him but punching the hell out of him. If only his suit was here he could....He pushes himself away again, bumping his back to the bedrest with a clang. 

"Does he remember it?" He punctuates every single word.

A loud but clear "No." from the other side of the room answers him. He turns his head towards the voice. "I don't remember." 

Steve angles his body to watch with him. "Howard...Your father and Bucky were close. Laughing around and pranking each other all the time. Bucky used to hang out all the time in his workshop, helping out him out or pitching out his own idea's to make every mission a great success." 

His ears pick up a fond laugh that makes him feel more sick. Is he really serious? Trying to change the subject like he's stupid? He knows those stories. His father couldn't stop telling how amazing they were. He clenches his fist.

"Do you remember when he tried to be my wingmen to date that dame from France?" 

Steve's nod gazes his shoulder. "Or when he tried to beat you in a drink game to date...What was her name?" 

"Stop bullshitting me!' He shouts. "I...I don't care if you knew him or not. The facts remain you killed my parents in cold blood while they begged for their lives. I can't forgive you for that. Not either can I forgive you, Steve. What the hell are you stil doing here?" 

"I don't want to lose you." 

He hears the honesty in his voice. Not his cap voice but his own. Still he can't forgive him. His mother's scream for his dad, her crying when she begged for her own life echoes through his mind. 

"You already did." 

* * *

If someone would have told him after losing his eye sight he would lose important person in his life shortly after he would laugh the person in question in his face, casually shrugging and going on with whatever the hell he was doing. _This time he finds himself he can't_.

He's still reeling for the fact his parents were murdered by the man Steve keeps defending who happens to be one of his best friends. 

_His world hasn't gone darker only but colder with it._

Blinking owlishly the sleep out of his eyes he must have fallen asleep shortly after Steve left. The nightmare still clings in his mind, very vivid in details in a way if he still had his sight. With shaking his fingers he tries to find the glass of water on the dressoir but his fingers stumble on something soft.

Curious his fingers feel around, feeling a finger touching the top of his own hand. He stops his movements, using his nose to find out who's laying down next to him on small remaining place of his bed.

 _A light flowery scent mixed with gunpowder._ The corner of his lips curl in a small smile he manages to give her despite his broken heart.

"Hi." Her hand slides over his chest on the place were once his reactor used to be, flatting her palm right over the large scar left behind on his skin. 

"You okay?" She asks him, using her signature tone to let him know she heard about him and Steve. This means he get's a free pass to avoid the subject which of course he will. There's no need for him to talk about it. Except that doesn't explain why he does wants to talk about it with her.

_He's going mad, isn't?_

Tony broads his smile. "Always." She gentle takes some of his loose strands out of his face, sliding her fingers through his hair to comb everything out of his face. Her fingers scratch his skull and he can't help himself to take large gulp of air, closing his eyes as he leans against her. Simply surrendering. 

"You're not okay, Tony." Her free hand touches the skin underneath his eyes, wiping away the remains of his tears. He imagines her green eyes watching him intently to pull the truth out of him for his own good. He touches his left wrist, pain bursting out in flares. Her hand moves from his chest, moving away his hand from his wrist and massages the painful skin. 

Tony lays his hands on hers, tilting his head towards the direction where he thinks her face is. "Am I the one who's wrong? Be honest with me, please. You're very good in that." She entwines her fingers around one of his hands, bringing them up were she places a kiss on his wrist.

He doesn't know what do with her gesture. His mind is scrambled and she means it nice but it's too much. Too intimate. In his heart he wants to kiss her. He really does. That would have been normal. But he can't do it. Not now. 

He opens his mouth to say _I'm sorry_  but she must have seen his reaction before he can, feeling her thumbs sliding over the insides of his pained wrist. He groans in relieve, feeling the tension lessen between her thumbs.

"You're not entirely wrong. It normal to feel angry but Barnes is much as a victim as you're, Tony. Hydra made him do it. I have gone through something similar. There was nothing he could do to stop it."

Her answer doesn't made him feel better as he would have hoped, more curious about how the brainwashing part works. "When did that happen? And before you tell me Fury won't send a kill hit on me for knowing, doesn't he?" He asks carefully, lowering his eyebrows and casting her a sideways look. 

"It happened when I was in the Red Room. Shield doesn't know anything about it." 

* * *

He doesn't know who started the kiss but boy this does feel good. Her soft plump lips slide over his, he takes the next step by opening his mouth to invite her in. His tongue touches the roof of her mouth, tasting around her sweetness until he touches her tongue. He slides along her length, sucking a little on her lips as a groan escapes from his lips. 

Her hands move up to the nape of his neck, sliding through his longer hair, curly on the edges again. She curls a finger around one, pulling gentle and climbs on top of him. His hands rests on each side of her hips. She's sitting on his waist, light and very touchy.

Her hands roam over his body, her tongue touching every corner of his mouth. It isn't wild or rushed as he imaged her to be, taking her time with him. 

She slowly takes off his embarrassing hospital gown, exposing his chest for her hands to explore her on. Playful she teases his nipples and he can't help the small whine escaping from his lips, bucking up from the soft surface he's laying on to be closer against her.

He doesn't like her to be so far away from him. She presses him back in the mattress, taking both his hands above his hands.

Deepening the tasteful kiss, he opens his legs to make more space for her but the pain remembers him of his injury. "Shit. Forgot about that for a moment." He mutters against her lips, feeling her smile as she cups his face in her hand. 

"I don't want you to be in pain." She kisses him gentle, a soft pressure on his lips. "We can do this when you're healed up."

He shakes his head in disagreement. "No, no. The doctor told me I need physical movement to heal up the wound." 

A warm puff of laughter breaths into his mouth, feeling her tongue slide over his lips. "Not of this kind, Tony." He lowers his head back on the cushion, feeling her curls against the sides of his face. "And I'm a screamer. The doctors wouldn't appreciate that." She whispers in his ear, biting the bone gentle. 

“It wouln’t be the first time I got caught having public sex.” The corners of his lips curl into a playful grin. “I’m not a quiet person myself either.”

He kisses the side of her head, following the turn of her head, landing on her cheek and trails a path over her soft skin until he reaches her warm lips. Slowly he manages to get himself free from her grasp, pulling her flush against him. “Hi.” 

“Hello.” She returns his kiss while her arms fold around his neck. Tilting his head to the left he manages to get the right angle, shutting his eyes closed in pleasure. A warm feeling builds up in his abdomen, and his cock twitches in interest. His hand aimlessly touches her skin, feeling the softness, warmth, curves and every dip he encounters with his fingers. 

He feels how she shivers under each of his touches, some places more sensitive than others. Interesting. Keeping an ear open to the footsteps and rushed voices outside the room, he dares to up his game by sliding his hand underneath her shirt. She pushes him back ( _again_ ) as he laughs against her lips.

His tongue to slide against her tongue, keeping the kiss this time light and airy. She surprises him by taking both his hands, entwining their hands with hers on top.

Slowly she slides the both of them along her body, up to her bra and slides underneath. "God, I wish I could see you." He whispers, feeling suddenly bitterly. Their hands knead both her breasts, his thumb playing with both her nipples. She moans against him, grinding her body against his groin in a playful manner he answer with a thrust.

Her lips move away from his, he tries to chase after them but she has found a favorite new spot on the side of his neck, going down to his collarbone, and stops suddenly when she reaches his chest.

He opens his eyes as she moves their hands together lower as her warm puffs of air increases against his cheeks. He moves forward to capture those delicious lips but she outsmarts him to his dismay. 

"You can see me with your hands, Tony." Her voice comes a little above from his face. "Lucky for you I like how they feel." 

He feels himself grown hotter in his entire body. Bending his fingers to scratch her skin a little as she trails their hands along her stomach, feeling her speeding her up. "Careful there. You might miss a spot if you go to fast." He grins, finally finding her amazing lips and moves forward but a something painful tearing the skin of his leg makes him cry out. "What the hell was that?" 

She drops both their hands, feeling her turn around on his lap. Her hand touches gentle around his legs. "You tore your stitches."  

He sighs. "Please, don't say we have to stop. I really liked what we had going. The kiss and touching. Have I mentioned I can't stop kissing you? Your lips are like those chocolates. You take one but after that one you take another one while promising yourself it's the last one and you keep going till the box is empty." 

Her hands cup his face, feeling her lips kiss his cheeks, nose, forehead and as last his lips. Yeah, he's rambling too much. Her lips lingering on his to shut him up until he decides to try something out with his tongue, licking her lips to gain access to hers but she moves away.

"I'm going to get you a doctor." She shushes him while standing up from his lap he quickly catches her hand and gives a small kiss on the top. 

"Please don't. It's just a small boo boo. I will be fine." He gives her another kiss, and another. 

"I don't like to see you in pain. " She takes her hand gentle away from his lips. "We can continue this another time. You need medical attention, Tony." 

Knowing their luck that's going to be a long time. Still. It's good as any. The corner of his left lips turns up in a small smile.  "Promise?"

"Yes."

* * *

  _Finally home._

The fresh air ruffles through his hair as he takes a deep breath, filling his longs with the freshness and takes out the hospital smell lingering around him. Thank goodness he didn't tear up his stitches too much or he would have stayed a few more days. 

J.A.R.V.I.S.'s tail waggles against his leg, just happy to be home as well. He kneels down careful to be on the same level as him, feeling around with his hand through his fur and feels here and there a few empty patches without fur.

"Huh, got some work to do." He smiles, reminding how little time he spend lately with him. "What do you say we go out a walk and then we go down stairs to give you a new hair cut?" 

A bark comes as answer and a whine. "I mean yes, sir. Excuse me, I'm starting to get used a bit too much to my new body as it seems." 

He shrugs. "I don't mind. You're a dog currently so why bother not acting like one? It's weird if you don't so go all out doggy style, J. Bring me balls, twigs that are too big carry for you, slobber on everything but do not chew my shoes. Seriously don't." 

"I will try not too." J.A.R.V.I.S. licks him on the face. _Ew._  His tongue feels awful real with slobbering included. 

Tony wipes his wet cheek with his hand. "Also not that." 

* * *

He would have expected Rogers to move out but the stubborn son of a bitch evidently still lives in the same building as him. In fact he's pretty such the murder of his parents tagged along. For example he notices how quiet some rooms are. Almost too quiet while they normally are full of chattering sounds. He missed it. 

His ears pick up up Steve's..No Rogers voice reading the paper out loud. Walking closer to the same room he doesn't make him stop. Not either when he walks past and sits down in the kitchen. After ten minutes or so his reading stops and it's being replaced by footsteps together with a bunch of noise until a nice smelling coffee is being put down near him with a plate pancakes.

"I'm glad you're back home." Rogers greets him, hearing his voice from the other side of the kitchen. He doesn't touch the coffee or the pancakes shoved in front his nose. "We missed you."

Rolling his eyes he stands up from his spot, feeling around the cool surface until he finds the coffee machine. Finding a cup above the left cabinet and after sniffing it's clean he pours his own coffee, adding a sugar. Rogers in the meanwhile had a whole short talk with himself. _The complete idiot._ Shaking his head he takes a sip coffee, hearing a familiar clicking of heels entering the room

He almost feels jealous she doesn't walk to him right away but to Rogers. 

"Doesn't he still not talk to you?" Natasha asks loud enough for him to hear but doesn't hear Steve's reply. "Give him time. He will come around. It's still fresh." 

"I have to go. I promised Sam for a run." Steve's voice sounds absent, hearing shuffling his feet before a door closes. He doesn't pick up any noises after that. 

Taking another sip he turns his head towards the direction were he heard her voice. "Since when do I have a relationship therapist?" 

"Since the both of you need one." Sounds from behind him, and he doesn't remember her being this fast. He turns around with a grimace.

"Yeah, no thanks. Don't tell me that's the reason why you're here?" He asks her, feeling a light pressure on his lips as her hands slide over his body. The corners of his lips curl into a smile. "But if you were one this would be the end of your career." 

"Too bad. I would have been a great one." She takes the coffee cup from him, and pulls him closer against her by his tie.

He adds more pressure on her lips, opening his mouth to let her in. "You would be. Lucky me for me you're not."

"We will see about that. I don't need to be one to do it." She moves away from him, pulling him after her with his tie as he stumbles after her.

"Show what you got, agent Romanoff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart broke for Tony when I wrote this. The reason this chapter is so late is because I have been fighting with this chapter and how to write it out without make it too dramatic. I watched Civil War a couple of time with other painful Tony scenes to get the chapter right/
> 
> I really hope I have archived that part and I have made Steve a bit more cuddlier. In the comic's they cuddle all the time and I couldn't leave that out. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this long awaited chapter. As always thank you for the lovely comments, kudos and subscriptions <3


	11. A Broken Heart Can Be Fixed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If this was indeed therapy I would have been here all the time." 

He pins her down with both hands above her head, trapping her underneath him. The little sparring session got out of hand. It happens to him a lot. Her soft lips on his own steal his breath away as a soft laugh escapes from his lips. "This is your idea of therapy?" He licks his lips, brushing them against her softer ones. "If this was indeed therapy I would have been here all the time." 

The curves of her petite body feel so amazing, loving saltiness smell on her skin as evidence he worked up a nice sweat on her. She manages to catch him off guard, flipping them around with him now laying underneath her. His hands tied above his head. "I doubt it would be fun with without me." 

His face grimaces in disgust, images of his former therapists appearing in his mind. "You're kinda ruin our moment here." He shakes his head. "I don't want to be reminded of grey old pugs with leather seats you never can get out once you sit in them." His naked foot slides up and down her calf. 

"Then keep your mind focused on me, Shellhead." Natasha releases his hands, allowing him to move and he pushes himself up in a sitting position. "I'm not ready with you yet." She stands up from his lap, pulling him along with her. Since the hospital she has been more touchy then before. Kissing him random when they are alone. She pull his shirt straight, linger a few seconds longer than she normally would. 

Tony closes the distance between them, stilling her hands by taking them in hers. "Whatever you got planned out. I'm game." 

She's more than his heart can truly bear, a bright light in his cold dark world. Maybe it's too soon to tell but he loves her. She doesn't move out his grasp, not moving at all. _Watching him in his eyes without color._ He can't imagine how that must feel like. Searching for something that's not really there. Closing his eyes to shield them off, he let her hands go. 

He's still here. Just not in the way he used to be. He doesn't know if she accept him this way, not knowing truly how she looks at him at this very moment sucks. Opening his eyes he turns his head towards her face, bumping his nose against hers. _She's looking up in his eyes._  "What?"

She leans in to kiss him on the lips, her smell flooding his senses as he returns the kiss. He savors her taste, resting his hand below her ear and she runs her fingers up his spine until she reaches the nape his neck. _Pulling him impossibly closer._ She knocks the air out his longs, breathing her own into his lungs before she breaks the kiss.

"Wow. That...That's wow." He feels drunk on endorphins, her warmth radiating from his lips. A bit bruised when he licks them but liking the feeling. He tilts his head to the right side, brushing his nose against hers. "Wanna do that again?"

Her laughter fills his heart with more warmth, her hand rests protective on the skin just above it, fingers fanned out. "I took you here for training, Mr. Stark. You got some issues to work out."

"Don't tell me you're actually going all therapist on me?" He scrunches his eyebrows, groaning in unbelief that's she actually taking him serious. "I really don't need that! I'm fine!" Again, she's kissing him in a very inappropriate moment, using her lips as a distraction which, yeah he's fine with. Her lips feels so soft, firmly against his and move perfectly in sync. 

"You got a problem with Steve. Its time the both of you talk." She breaths in the kiss, her free hand holding the back of her head in a locked position. He breaks the kiss by moving his head sideways with a plop. He hates to break an amazing kiss but kissing and Rogers do not go along. 

"Give me one good reason."

* * *

"I never saw you as a person who's able to give me a headache."  He groans, rubbing his temples with two fingers and lays back in his leather black chair. Her hands wave his not functional fingers away and replaces them her thumbs, massaging the pain as it lessens. 

"I take it back as long you don't stop. How do you do that? You gotta teach me." He groans in pleasure, closing his eyes with satisfied hum. 

"It's not difficult. Just finding the right place." She moves her hands lower between the back of his head, and the start of his neck. Her hands are holding him, moving in god knows what movements. He does know that they are heavenly. Her fingers massage further along to both side on his head, tapping gentle. "This is the hippocampus. The place your store your memories."

He opens his eyes, understanding she's actually talking about something else... _Another person to be precise_. She read the files to him how the brainwashing worked including horrific details he began actually to feel bad for the guy. Her voice would waver during some parts he can guess she endured it too.

"Can we do this another time? You gave me enough reasons to talk to Rogers but I'm not ready actually go for a friendly chat to the person behind the reason why we have this fight." He closes one eye, leaning back in her hands. And okay, she's distracting him with another kiss. It's his weakness she uses very happily. 

He angles his head to return the kiss, moving his hand upwards to hold her cheek but ends up on her shoulder. _Very smooth Stark._ He still isn't able to find a body part in one go. _It annoys him._ He has been blind for a while so he should know how to find his way by now. 

One of her hands pick up his wrong placed hand, guiding him to her cheek and holding him there. He blames Rogers for his stumbling touching. His fingers stroke gentle hers. "Look, it's not I don't want to talk to Rogers." 

"Steve." She interrups him. "And it's not Barnes his fault. He didn't do those things. Hydra did." 

His lips stop moving all together, rising his left eyebrow. "Hold on, since when did **_he_** got a name?"

She shrugging her shoulder, feeling the movement against his arm. "The days he was born or a few months before that. I'm not sure."

Slowly he drops his hand from her face, realizing things are about to go much deeper than he originally thought. Something he tried to avoid. "Ha Ha Ha. That's not what I actually what I meant." He points out, feeling her fingers trying to hold his hand but he's not having any of it until he knows more. 

"I know him personally." She admits. "The files I read to you. I left out some parts involving me." 

He breaks the kiss with a sick feeling, not liking were this is going at all.  _They couldn't._  "Don't tell me you and him had a thing."

Her thumb absently rubs his cheek, some of her curls dangling against the side of his face. "We did until Hydra found out. They removed his memories of us in front of me." Her voice sounds sad, broken even. His heart beats faster in his chest, feeling the need to get out the chair as he breaks away from her, walking a few steps away from her and turns around in her direction. 

"Then what is this? I'm a just a convenient friend to spend time with till he scrabbled his memories back?" He questions with pain in his heart, waving a finger between them he thinks. "You clearly still love the guy!" He barely manages to keep contained without becoming a shout. 

Closing his eyes he doesn't her hear her move. Seconds ticking by. "Yes, but not in the way you think. More like how you love Pepper."

"Pepper didn't kill my parents." Tony points out but regret kicking in the moment he spoke out the words. He wants the truth not chasing her away from him. "And how do you feel about me?" 

"There are no words that could explain how I feel about you." She replies without hesitation. He hangs his head on his shoulders, making the move to turn around and face away from her but he find himself he can't. She's stopping him halfway through, cupping his face in her hands and pulls his lips against hers. He wants to push her back, taking her arms in his hands until her words clicks in his mind. 

He savors her lips while she pushes him backwards, his feet feeling damp from the swimming pool near them until his back collides with either the diving board or a wall. Her hands slide from his face, down along his neck, shoulders, chest to unbutton his shirt until she has enough and rips the fabric from his body. He laugh against her lips. "That was my favorite shirt." 

Natasha shuts him up by entering his mouth with her tongue, she trails along the roof of his mouth as his eyes roll in the back of his head in pleasure. His hands roam freely over her body, trying to touch his way rather then trying to see with his broken eyes. Her hand slide further down to his belt, she takes off as well but stops when she breaks the kiss.

He feels her breath on his face, and tries to kiss her again without any success. She's walking away from him. Tilting his head towards the sound of her heels he hears other soft sounds he can't place. 

It's not long before she's back at his side he reaches out to her, touching the warmth of her soft skin. Pulling her closer he goes further upwards on her arm and when his fingers brush her waist, his lips work up a smile and he realizes she's _stark_ naked. Gentle he touches her further with the side of his fingers, ghosting on her breasts and feels her shiver against him. Lowering his head he leaves a kiss on her collar bone. "I love you." 

Her hand ruffles the hair at the nape of his neck, he closes his eyes in enjoyment as his lips stay on her warm soft skin. "Tony."

Shaking his head he knows he may took it too far but he can't hold it in. Not anymore. "It's okay. You don't have to say it back to me. I just wanted to say it to you."

"It's important to me." She acknowledges, tilting his head up and kisses his lips. "Care to join me in the pool?" 

Kissing her back his lips shape into a real smile. "Yeah." She undresses him were she left off, loosing his belt to undo his zipper and his pants drop on his knees. Her hair tickles his leg until she taps him on his feet, and he steps out of his pants. Her hand moves between his thighs as she stands up, each touch burning in his groin and his cock becomes hard with interest. 

She pulls him with her in the pool, feeling the coldness of the water soaking him slowly as he slides fully in. He releases her hand for a dive and swims a bit further until he reaches the end to breath in air at the lower part of the pool. Sitting down he shakes the water from his hair she pins him with his lower back against the rim. 

He never thought there would be a day she would be so close to him. Not either swimming he loved to do before the accident. She makes him do the things he had thought would be impossible with his blindness. His hand touches her spine, rubbing the skin up and down while his other hand finds her beautiful red hair. He loved seeing the colors and emotions on faces. At the same time he got so much back for his loss. Maybe he shouldn't call it a loss but another way to see things as they are. 

"Tony." She calls him out his thoughts. He opens his eyes with an questioning hum. "I love you too." 

His arms tighten around her, playing a curl around his index finger. "I know. You didn't have to say it." 

He lays back on the bottom of the pool, taking her with him with her length covering him. The water reaches about half his shoulders, feeling her hand ghosting on his groin. Gentle her hands touch his shaft, brushing over the length as her thumb touches the sensitive area on his hardening cock and her fingers folding around his shaft. He knocks his head back against the bottom of the pool in pleasure, water not going further than behind his ears.  

His hand find her inner thigh, drumming his fingers on her soft skin and deciding he's dual for some touching of his own. Slowly trailing along her skin he finds her labia. Gentle caressing her with stroking touches he feels her match her strokes on his cock with his own on her. He teases her opening for a moment, feeling her teasing him back as her fingers glide over his shaft, he bites his lower lip to keep his groan inside. 

Smirking he stumbles on her clitoris, giving an experiment rub to see what she likes. She stops her movements on his cock, taking his resting finger on her clitoris and makes a circling movements with it while stroking her cock. _God, he can imagine how they look. It's amazing._  He pushes himself up with his free hand in a sitting postion, his lips finding her breast. Sucking harshly on her nipple, she moans in his lap and rocks against his finger. 

"Huh, I imagined you as a quiet type." He mutters against her breasts, kissing the skin between them before taking her other nipple between his teeth. The lust burning through his veins and the tension centered in his groin arches for more. He overpowers her for the second time by pinning her down underneath him in one simple turn. She's laying in his arms, her legs touching his own. Her soft breasts against his scarred chest, she cups his cheek in her hand and kisses him with the water splattering every where. 

Her free hand she strokes him while guiding him to her entrance. "You might find out more, Tony." 

He penetrates her in one thrust, her legs locking behind on his back and draws him deeper until he's seated fully within her. His eyes flutter in pleasure, his mouth shaped in an _o_ but manages to recover himself. "Is that a challenge?" He asks her, moving out her but leaving the tip of his cock in her. 

She answers him with grind against his body, he thrust his cock back in her and repeats the movement but he keeping his rhythm steady. Her body meets each one of his thrusts,her inner muscles muscles clenching on him tightly and she moans loudly that matching his own.

He brings up a hand underneath her butt, bringing her closer against him to penetrate her deeper. Fastening his rhythm his breath is going heavier, the warmth through his veins burning with desire to never let her go ever that drives him to go harder and faster. 

The water get's in his face sometimes but it's refreshing just as she is. Thank goodness he designed this part of the pool as low as a kids pool or he would have more trouble. Her nails dig in the flesh of his back, her legs straddling him tighter. He feels her shivering in his arms, her muscles inside her relax in one loud moan as he feels her pulsing around his cock. She arches up against him, urging him to keep going he replies with a more gentle thrust. "Anthony."

The softness in her voice makes him stop his movements and...This right here would be the exact moment he would looked her in the eyes to fall more in love with her.  _Only his broken eyes won't._ Strange enough he doesn't miss seeing **_the moment_**. There's no need for it. _He can feel her and somehow that's more intense than seeing her._

Bringing up his hands from her hips he finds her face, using his fingers to figure out her expressions. Gentle he follows the upwards curve of her lips, rubbing his thumb a few times over the softness. Her lips give him tiny kisses his fingers, warmth going through his veins as his lips smile. Moving upwards over her cheeks, he feels the need to kiss her but he won't. _Not yet_. His fingers reach her closed eyes, the lashes tickling the tips of his fingers. He caresses her eyelids and the skin above very gentle, using them as a guide to find her nose. 

His index fingers brushes over her nose until he reaches the tip and goes back upwards to her forehead. He doesn't feel any tension in her face. Listing to her breathing she's calm, her body relaxing underneath his own. "Why?" Slips from his lips, blinking his own eyes from his own question. 

"It's different for me too, Tony." Her lips brush against his. "But I still trust you. On the battlefield or whatever the mission will carry us. I will always trust you."

Lowering his hands from her forehead, sliding them in her hair to hold the side of her face. She gives him to much credit, guilt working through his system. He has been thinking only about his own pleasure, not about hers. She could have faked her expressions the moment he lay a hand on them to make him feel better. _What kind of sick love is that?_ None. "You deserve better." 

He wants to let her go but her hands capture his hands in a solid grip, her legs straddling around his hips. "No, Tony. You came better out of it then we could possible hope for. I truly thought you were done for it. You proved me wrong." 

"I should have listened to you. I didn't. Look at me now. I'm..." He grimaces, struggles to get out. She turns him around with his back against the pool, her sitting on top. He won't be able to leave. "You deserve someone who can look at you in the eye as they make love to you. I can't do that. This was a mistake."

Her grip grows into a more softer one, hearing more water splashing around them. "Being able to see doesn't make who you truly are. You are much more then having sight. It's more complicated for you but you never let it stop you. So why now?"

His left hand manages to get free from her steel grip, using her arm, shoulders and sliding on her neck to find her face. Caressing her cheek before holding his hand there with his fingers feeling around on her soft skin. _He needs to know_. 

"I don't want to lose you. This will lead to that. Trust me." He tilts his head back against the bottom of the pool, water reaching behind his ear. _It's a calm feeling somehow._ His left hand is shaking but keeping his hand on her face, his fingers trace the curve of her lips. Lucky he can keep his breathing under control this time. "Our team is already messed up as it is. Let's not make it worse." 

Her lips curve upwards against his fingers, feeling her leaning over him as her breath tickles on his skin. "Tony, if that would be true this wouldn't have happened between us. I want this as much you do. Let me show you."

Her soft plump lips touches his rouge lips ignoring his finger is between them until she takes a hold on both his hands and placed them above his head, releases to keep them there as she slides with one hand down over his body, starting to dry up. He bites his lips to hold back a groan, feeling her fingers slide over the scarred part on his chest, lowering down over his stomach and takes his cock in her hand and he's gone.

She strokes his hard cock, her thumb caress the tip in slow circle motions. Thrusting upwards in her hand, she kisses him roughly and takes his breath away from him as usual. Barely he manages to answer his kiss by how good it feels. Her free hand touches the sides of his face, fingers gentle ghosting over the skin around his eyes. He leans against her upwards, keeping his lips on hers. She opens her lips open for him and he slides his tongue inside with a tiny thrust from his hips. 

'I still don't see why this is a good idea." He teases her with a smile, licking her lips when she strokes him more firm. She halts her stroking on his cock, giving him the time to breath _or not_ as she guiding his cock back inside her and she arches up to him. A laugh escapes from his lips. "I never met anyone like you." 

She breaks the kiss, giving him one on the skin behind his ear. "I doubt you ever will." 

_The truth is he doesn't want to meet anyone else but he's pretty sure she knows._

* * *

Natasha turns around in his arms, feeling her back against his side and rolls along with her to cover her body with his own length. He might misses a few centimeters but he's too preoccupied by her shoulders, kissing them deliriously as he thrust deeply inside her. His hands slide over her front, touching around her breasts, stomach and on her clitoris he stays, moving his finger in the same pace as his thrusts. 

He feels every part inside his body burning, psychically impossible unless he would eat a plate of a very very very hot chilly. Still he wouldn't be able to feel the same pleasurable burning in his veins. "God." He moans against her skin, hearing her breaths fastening as she moans with each thrust. He quickens his pace, harder and penetrates her deeper as he spreads her legs with his hand between them. 

Circling his thumb on her clitoris she arches up against him and throws her head against his shoulder. He kisses her jawline, feeling her fingers slide through in his wet hair. She calls his name softly, arching up against him again to meet each his hard thrusts. Her movements still as he works her through her orgasm, her muscles relaxing against his hard cock. She's fantastic. Feeling so warm and perfect each time he touches inside. 

She's tightens her muscles to keep a hold on his cock as he groans beatifically. The warmth exploding in tiny bombs in his body, releasing the tightness in his body in one last hard thrust she meets up with an arch. His cock twitches inside her, he lays against her and folds his arms around her. She kisses one of his eyes, making trail going from his temple, cheeks, nose and as end destination his lips. 

It's sloppy, breathy kiss but he loves every second that goes by. Her fingers fold around his hands, he leans his head against the side of her head. He knows it's time to get back to the Rogers problem. A sigh escapes from his lips. "It's better I head back inside before Rogers and his bff come out to search us." 

"It's a bit too late for that." She states, and he hides his head with a groan, closing his eyes. 

"Please don't tell me he's actually here." He muffles out against her naked skin, digging his nose further against the softness. 

His ears pick up a sound that's too quiet to make out. He does know it comes from his left. "Sorry, I didn't.. I'm glad you both finally uh...worked things out?" Rogers speaks up from a distance. 

Rolling his eyes he leans her head against Natasha's shoulder. "Of course you are." 

* * *

He didn't talk to Rogers the moment he stepped in his own workplace. Didn't felt the need to explain himself, pulling his shirt over his head while J.A.R.V.I.S. leads him with clicking noises. A new way to walk without holding onto something or without his suit which is really starting to get old. He takes a seat on his stool, J.A.R.V.I.S. pushes his toolbox against his palm.

Sure, he could use this little advantage against Rogers bff's only Natasha seems to sense his anger, handing him his drill with her fingers lingering on his to calm him down and somehow it works. The whole reason Rogers is still in _his_ building is because Barnes arm is broken and having nobody to fix it he decided to try to glue what's left of their so called friendship. _Great_. He would have kicked them both out only Natasha managed to convince him to let them stay. 

His fingers find their way through the wires, knots and tech he would have admired if his parents weren't be murdered with it. He pulls the wires one by one to feel which ones are either stuck or broken. One snaps right of with little strength, hearing the guy take a breath against the pain he supposes. The part in his arm are linked to some of his nerves. He stops to give the guy a (fake) apologizing smile and heads back to work. 

Having searched through the upper part he opens the lowered part and the hand. The wires seem to be smaller, delicate almost, just strong enough to hold as long they are protected by the metal around it. He touches the surface, noticing it's the same material as Rogers Shield. If they got enough to make an arm complicated as this one how much more do they have left? He bites his lips, making a note in his head to ask Natasha once they are done. 

Touching one of his fingers he hears suddenly his mothers scream he tightens his grip around the screwdriver. He tries to drown out her out to his own regret, taking a deep breath as he senses Rogers next to him. It's something he always managed to tell before he lost his sight.

Not paying attention to him, he commands J.A.R.V.I.S. to make a blue print who makes a 3d model he shows to Barnes. "You're able to spot the problem right away. I in the other hand have to feel everything which can take hours. Guide me through it and we can be done in a few minutes. Do you think you can do that, gunslinger?" 

"Yes." Barnes replies, his hand folding around his hand. It's a gentle touch he wants to shake off, realizing he's actually guide him to the source to the problem. His fingers release his hand. The same hand belonging to the person who strangled his mother. Barnes taps his hand on the left side to his annoyance. 

"Use words. Don't touch me." He warns with anger in his tone, grease dripping down from his fingers as he shape into a fist. 

Barnes hasn't said a word afterwards, handing him wordlessly the tools he needs to fix the damage. Rogers took over the directions as guidance he most of the time ignores and finds the way on his own. Poking a screwdriver inside his arm goes upwards. Poking again on the left side the arm goes left. Right however doesn't respond.

"Can you move your arm to the right?" He asks, holding the screwdriver as he feels the tiny wheels moving but not the arm. It's not complicated what's broken but to fix? He has the take the whole arm out and Bruce would be handy to have around too. Turning around on the stool he whistles J.A.R.V.I.S. who jumps on his lap, smelling something chicken a like from his breath. 

"How bad is it?" Rogers asks him, hearing him too close from his liking. He accepts the rag J.A.R.V.I.S. hands him, wiping the grease from his hands before he pets him. "Can you fix it?" His voice sounds uncertain, hesitation with a worried tone. 

He shakes his head. "Alone? No, I need Bruce for some parts. I do have a question for you." Natasha must have left, not hearing a single other sound than J.A.R.V.I.S. waving tail. 

"Give me one good reason, Rogers. One good reason why I should help the murderer of my parents?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's the next chapter!
> 
> I have to admit I have been struggling with this chapter. Originally it was so much longer but I scrapped out a lot of unnecessary things which would only do bad. (I did kept one sweet moment for the next chapter). 
> 
> I hope you all are still enjoying this story <3

**Author's Note:**

> I have been working on this one quite some time and it has quite a few chapters but I couldn't wait to share it. So I thought why not rolling the chapters one by one and see how that goes? The story is almost done and I'm going to update this one regularly. 
> 
> I hope you will enjoy (: Let me know if you find any mistakes so I can correct them.


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